Thursday, March 31, 2011

Opening Day 2011

The forecast promises snow and freezing rain tomorrow, but the long, dark season of "I-guess-I'll-get-interested-in-football-but-I-still-don't-like-basketball" is finally over. I've been watching baseball on my computer, on my phone and on a muted television at the Greenpoint YMCA for nine hours and counting, now. Here are my favorite photos of things I may have seen at one point during the day:


AMERICA: giant flag, fireworks, Statue of Liberty, advertisements,
Yankees, baseball, hot dogs (probably somewhere).

Curtis Granderson's diving catch. Later, he hit a home run.

Welcome to New York, Miggy.

Mark Teixeira hit a 3-run home run. Derek Jeter said "Congratulations!"


AMERICA: shooting columns of fire into the air,
men charging through clouds of smoke

Bahhhh. You again.


Prince Fielder with beard and earflaps.


I have this guy Chase Headley on my Fantasy team. Here he
is scoring a run. What does his face look like?


Bobby Abreu chewing gum.


I typically cheer for the Dodgers, but with Joe Torre gone, Casey Blake injured, Andre Ethier wearing a ponytail and not allowing me to listen to the Vin Scully audio over the ESPN video feed, I wasn't sure how I'd feel during the game. The ESPN announcers sucked. I mean, you can't just say that Pablo Sandoval lost 40 lbs. on the "chicken salad diet" and not describe what was in the chicken salad. I don't know what he was eating before, but mainlining mayonnaise doesn't sound like the fastest route to good health.

The California Baseball Giants

But he looks a lot thinner here.

Matt Kemp had a good night. I forget how attractive he is and then
see him and think he should be a movie star.

Anyway, despite the aforementioned factors, I really enjoyed this game. You'd have to have a heart made out of wormy garbage to not feel closer to the Giants after their World Series victory last year. I hope Buster Posey becomes a baseball megastar and that Panda enjoys continued success with that chicken salad. Do you put apples in it? Golden raisins?



I promise to provide some non-ESPN-produced baseball thoughts and pictures later in the day, but I just woke up and.........
Is this a mistake or a joke?
Four point eight percent of people went with it, regardless. Sometimes you just have to go with it. Anything could happen. aNYYthing.

Monday, March 28, 2011

This Team

I drafted some excellent mugshots in my Grinnell College Fantasy Baseball League. This team resembles my Marauders of Time Auction Dynasty Keeper Team, although I did not have to pay a combined total of $61.00 for Derek Jeter and Cole Hamels. No one freak out. I would have gone up to $93.00 each and spent $47.00 on Robbie Cano and filled the rest of my team with dollar scrubs in a heartbeat.

Yes, Cole is the "ace" of my pitching staff. I'm putting that in quotes because of this New York Times article:

Identifying an ace is largely subjective, but baseball people tend to give no more than 13 active pitchers the title, with about the same number falling just a shade below and three others (Johan Santana, Stephen Strasburg and Adam Wainwright) probably out for the season with injuries.

The members of the vaunted, if unofficial, class: Chris Carpenter, Zack Greinke, Roy Halladay, Felix Hernandez, Ubaldo Jimenez, Josh Johnson, Cliff Lee, Jon Lester, Lincecum, Price, Roy Oswalt, C. C. Sabathia and Justin Verlander.

That's three Phillies starting pitches not named Cole Hamels! We'll see.

Friday, March 11, 2011

We're All Probably Moving in a Direction, Somewhere, Somehow

I read on Twitter that Grady Sizemore is running again:

As someone who also suffered a knee injury and who starts "running again" once every few weeks after intermittent binges on internet television and fried Chinese food, I can't say that I'm so impressed that Mr. Pro Athlete / Former #1 Fantasy Baseball Draft Pick is running again. But since I haven't completely forgotten my early infatuation with Grady, here's a picture of him running away from a cone.

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! suggests that Grady may even be running the bases soon. "He's probably moving in that direction," said manager Manny Acta. Grady Sizemore is probably moving in the direction of running the bases. That's a lot of potential motion for one sentence. Should I draft him again this year? So far, my strategy has consisted of drawing angry X's through Jayson Werth's name and nervously wondering if I'd spend all $260 of my budget on Derek Jeter.


Of course I would. The way I see it, $260 in imaginary money is a small price to pay for my future career as Derek Jeter's art advisor/Yankees radio co-host.

Happy weekend everyone! If the weather improves and you start running again, make sure to tweet it!