Everyone Knew This Would Happen

The Phillies won the World Series NL East title last night. They celebrated by putting on Pizza Hut delivery hats and dumping Budweiser tall boys on their coaches, before retreating to their locker room and spraying champagne at each other. Everyone knew this would happen! In unexpected news, Roy Halladay smiled for the first time.

Top: Antonio Bastardo
Middle: Smug Cliff Lee
Bottom: Smiling Roy Halladay

I'm desperately trying not to be eliminated from the championship round of my Dynasty Keeper Fantasy Baseball League, and it looks like everything hinges on Cole Hamels having a good start today. I scoured the Yahoo! Sports MLB photo gallery for evidence of any drunken misbehavior on Cole's part last night, but found nothing. I now feel like I can relate to parents who use Facebook to make sure that their high-school-aged children aren't taking party drugs.

Happily, Cole was serving mixed green salads to his wife and her friends and was nowhere near any cheap champagne, high school drop outs or prescription drug abuse. Whew. And Cole, we both know that you're on my team for LIFE, so just try to do your best today please.

Go, Fight, Win: A Photo Essay

The Phillies and Giants fought last night in San Francisco. You can and should watch the video, here. These photos feel like Norman Rockwell paintings to me:

Here's a trio of closeups on Chase Utley's eyeballs:

Brawler #1, Shane Victorino:

Roy Oswalt grinning:

Cliff Lee looking surprisingly noble:


A Where's Waldo series of Cole Hamels photos:

As you can see, the score was 8-2. What were the Giants trying to accomplish? Are they just mad because the Phillies are going to win the National League championship this year? And finally, where is Roy Halladay?

Hatless

The Phillies did a pitcher presser on Monday to show off their "historic" rotation. Are they going to win the World Series? Yeah, maybe. Are they the best looking rotation in baseball? I don't think so, but Cole Hamels has really nice hair.

Joe Blanton. Ugh.

January Update

Tonight, while reading my second anxiety-inducing Jonathan Franzen novel of 2011, I started thinking about how much happier I would be staring at the Yahoo! Fantasy Baseball Stat Tracker while simultaneously monitoring the slightly delayed live game feed of the night's most interesting pitching match up and listening to the Yankees game on the radio. Even though these two bad things happened in the off-season...

...and this happened again...


...and this will probably happen soon enough...

...I still can't wait for baseball to begin! On a happy note, this happened, too...

...which means that I will see ugly, old Jayson Werth about 95% less next year than last year. Have fun in loserville, loser.

Baseball is Over

The Giants won the World Series. Congratulations San Francisco. You waited for a long time.

Top: I predict a surge in Californian babies named Buster.
Middle: Tim Lincecum was the winning pitcher.
Bottom: Edgar Renteria won the MVP for hitting this home run and others.

Now, baseball is over. It's been a long season. Where will Cliff Lee go?

And what will happen to the rest of us?

Playoffs Day 1

ALDS Game 1: Rangers 5, Rays 1
W: Cliff Lee (1-0), L: David Price (0-1)
HR: Nelson Cruz (1), Bengie Molina (1), Ben Zobrist (1)

Cliff Lee had a great outing for the Rangers, but no one cares because later in the evening, Roy Halladay pitched a no-hitter for the Phillies. Doc walked one, preventing what would have otherwise been his SECOND perfect game of the season.

NLDS Game 1: Phillies 4, Reds 0
W: Roy Halladay (1-0), L: Edison Volquez (0-1)

This was his first-ever start in a post-season game. I am very, very afraid of the Phillies.

ALDS Game 1: Yankees 6, Twins 4
W: C.C. Sabathia (1-0), L: J. Crain (0-1)
S: Mariano Rivera (1)
HR: Michael Cuddyer (1), Mark Teixeira (1)

This was an unnerving game to watch, as the Twins held a 3-0 lead until a 4-run rally put the Yankees ahead in the 6th inning. Then, C.C. immediately loaded the bases and walked in the tying run. Mark Teixiera hit the go-ahead 2-run homer in the 7th inning and then everything was fine. This was the Twins' 7th consecutive postseason loss to the Yankees. 2010 SWEEP REDUX.