Baseball Life After Baseball

Now that we're one football Sunday past the baseball season, it's time to accept that baseball is over and that winter is here. Tony LaRussa made a very grandiose acceptance gesture by retiring from managing forever. A beautiful team of Budweiser Clydesdales escorted him into eternal peace.

Just kidding...he's still alive! Doesn't Lance Berkman look like the ultimate Casual Dad?

In other news, Robbie Cano and some other MLB All-Stars flew to Taiwan this week.

According to his Twitter, he's having a great time.

I have NO IDEA what this photo is! Asia is wild!

ALDS Game 4; NLDS Game 3

ALDS Game 4: Texas 4, Tampa Bay 3
Texas wins the series 3-1
W: Matt Harrison (1-0), L: Jeremy Hellickson (0-1)
S: Feliz (3)
HR: TEX - Adrian Beltre 3 (3), Ian Kinsler (1)

What is that thing and can you blame Yorvit Torrealba for throwing sunflower seeds at it? In case anyone was wondering what Evan Longoria's hair looked like on the last day of the Rays' season, here's a photo:

The color schemes of this year's divisional series opponents have been disorientating in their similarity. The Rangers and Rays wore blue today. The Yankees and Tigers wore gray and white uniforms with navy and black hats. The Phillies and Cardinals wore red. Does it lessen home field advantage when all of the fans are wearing the same color? What about if you're Tampa Bay and you have no home fans, anyway?

ALDS Game 4: Yankees 10, Detroit 1
Series tied at 2
W: A.J. Burnett (1-0), L: Rick Porcello (0-1)
HR: DET - V. Mart (1)

A.J. Burnett kept things scary through five and 2/3 innings, but "pitched beyond any Yankee's fantasy," as John Sterling said.

Curtis Granderson, back on his former home field, made two amazing diving catches. Victor Martinez hit the only home run of the game, off Burnett in the 4th inning. You could feel everyone on the Yankees payroll thinking, "Well, here we go AGAIN," but no meltdown materialized. A.J. Burnett, you're still super ugly, but thank you. You did great.

Question of the week: is V-Mart actually attractive or is it just his swoony batting average?

NLDS Game 3: Phillies 3, St. Louis 2
Philadelphia leads 2-1
W: Cole Hamels (1-0), L: Jaime Garcia (0-1)
S: Madson (1)
HR: PHI - Ben Fransisco (1)

See what I mean? Nothing but red. Cole Hamels pitched six scoreless innings and then took some glamour shots in the dugout.

Not quite as glam as....

Arizona currently leads Milwaukee 8-1 in the 8th inning.

My Favorite Getty Images 2011 Baseball Portraits

Opening Day 2011

The forecast promises snow and freezing rain tomorrow, but the long, dark season of "I-guess-I'll-get-interested-in-football-but-I-still-don't-like-basketball" is finally over. I've been watching baseball on my computer, on my phone and on a muted television at the Greenpoint YMCA for nine hours and counting, now. Here are my favorite photos of things I may have seen at one point during the day:

TIGERS v. YANKEES

AMERICA: giant flag, fireworks, Statue of Liberty, advertisements,
Yankees, baseball, hot dogs (probably somewhere).

Curtis Granderson's diving catch. Later, he hit a home run.

Welcome to New York, Miggy.

Mark Teixeira hit a 3-run home run. Derek Jeter said "Congratulations!"

BRAVES v. NATIONALS

AMERICA: shooting columns of fire into the air,
men charging through clouds of smoke

Bahhhh. You again.

BREWERS v. REDS

Prince Fielder with beard and earflaps.

PADRES v. CARDINALS

I have this guy Chase Headley on my Fantasy team. Here he
is scoring a run. What does his face look like?

ANGELS v. ROYALS

Bobby Abreu chewing gum.

GIANTS v. DODGERS

I typically cheer for the Dodgers, but with Joe Torre gone, Casey Blake injured, Andre Ethier wearing a ponytail and MLB.tv not allowing me to listen to the Vin Scully audio over the ESPN video feed, I wasn't sure how I'd feel during the game. The ESPN announcers sucked. I mean, you can't just say that Pablo Sandoval lost 40 lbs. on the "chicken salad diet" and not describe what was in the chicken salad. I don't know what he was eating before, but mainlining mayonnaise doesn't sound like the fastest route to good health.

The California Baseball Giants

But he looks a lot thinner here.

Matt Kemp had a good night. I forget how attractive he is and then
see him and think he should be a movie star.

Anyway, despite the aforementioned factors, I really enjoyed this game. You'd have to have a heart made out of wormy garbage to not feel closer to the Giants after their World Series victory last year. I hope Buster Posey becomes a baseball megastar and that Panda enjoys continued success with that chicken salad. Do you put apples in it? Golden raisins?

THE YANKEES WON!
THE DODGERS WON!
ROY HALLADAY IS PITCHING TOMORROW.
I LOVE BASEBALL!!!!!

Playoffs Day 2

Because I probably won't stay up long enough to tell you what happens in Game 1 of the Braves-Giants series in California, here's a recap of the two American League games that have already concluded.

Reigning Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum bumming
around in a much earlier time zone.

ALDS Game 2: Rangers 6, Rays 0
Rangers lead series 2-0
W: C.J. Wilson (1-0), L: James Shields (0-1)
HR: TEX Michael Young (1), Ian Kinsler (1)

Top: No other team's #2 is Derek Jeter
Middle: C.J. Wilson of the Texas Rangers
Bottom: Joe Maddon, Rays manager and eye-wear tastemaker, gets ejected
for trying to argue that his team isn't awful.

Maybe home field advantage doesn't mean anything when you play in a goofy dome and never sell out your games. After scoring just one run yesterday, the Rays were shut out by motor sports enthusiast C.J. Wilson and the Rangers' bullpen. They'll play their next game in Texas, where people actually like sports.

ALDS Game 2: Yankees 5, Twinzos 1
Yankees lead series 2-0
W: Andy Pettitte (1-0), L: Carl Pavano (0-1)
S: Mariano Rivera (2)
HR: MIN Orlando Hudson (1), NYY Lance Berkman (1)

Then again, the Minnesota Twins un-domed themselves this year and still got swept at home. Unlike the Rays, though, the Twins have a lot of fans and all of them were crying silent, Nordic tears by the 7th inning.

Top top: Carl Pavano used to look like an ordinary person.
Top bottom: Joe Mauer giving signs.
Bottom top: Handsome Andy Pettitte
Bottom bottom: Hell yeah, Curtis Granderson!

Carl Pavano's facial hair started getting really strange this year. I guess it helps him pitch, because he's been doing pretty well. Even with the help of a lucky mustache, though, it must be hard to go against a team that 1) has won almost three times as many World Series as any other team, 2) has a starting pitcher who's about to break the record for most-ever postseason wins, 3) has a closer who has already broken the record for most-ever postseason saves, and 4) used to pay you to get booed by its merciless fans. Sucks to be Carl Pavano. Sucks to be the Twins.

If nothing else, at least Twinkie-lovers won't have to watch their team get shut out of the ALDS at home this year. They'll have to watch it on TBS like every other baseball fan that couldn't afford to pay $89 to sit in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium.

The Mets should market the "watch baseball in New York" feel by selling tickets to watch home Yankee games on their Jumbotron. I would pay at least $25 to sit in one of those field level seats behind the dugouts, especially since they have A+ sports food. I would even pay $40 if they got actual people to stand on the field and mime the games in real time. Someone get Mr. Met on the phone and make this hapen.

New York, Ascendent

Per news reports, New York has taken a huge leap forward.

Detroit, however, has taken one huge step back. LINK