Go Tigers! Hosmer Walk-off. Cycling Pandoval.

Last night, the Tigers won their division title for the first time since 1987. Congratulations Tigers! Clinching pitcher Doug Fister is on both of my Fantasy teams. He's cute, right? I've been on the fence for months, but I think I'll go ahead and call this one now: he's cute. He's at least as cute as Clayton Kershaw was before he became more horse-y than boy-ish. Doug Fister, may you follow in Clayton's career footsteps without losing your human good looks.

Miggy has a hand tattoo?

Eric Hosmer hit a walk-off double against the White Sox last night. I hope become a great team because I love Eric Hosmer and I love their uniforms.


Pablo Sandoval hit for the cycle two nights ago. Can you believe he hit a triple?

I'm already starting to have baseball separation anxiety. Go away, football. Baseball, don't go!

People love using the internet to read about other people's hair.

Eric Hosmer has only been in the big leagues for 74 days, but he's already gone deep into the world of professional sports hairstyles. He reminds me of Ian Kinsler, who made my Top Ten back in 2009. I'm not sure if either Hosmer or Kinsler would make the list now (I'll make one soon, I promise), but I do really like how they both always seem to be in the middle of thinking up mean nicknames for their teammates.


Cole Hamels is back to getting flattened by the Mets and having facial stubble. I wonder if he gets too tired to shave or if he just likes trying new looks.

I don't have any other hair information, so here are two funny photos I found in the Yahoo! MLB Photo Gallery:

Top: Adam Jones, Nice Dive
Bottom: I love seeing things like this.

If these photos aren't satisfying to you, please continue to read about baseball mustaches, here.

Who Are You?

Today, I felt like looking at some people that I've never seen before:

Mike Moustakas and Dustin Ackley have been sitting on my Grinnell College Fantasy bench for roughly three months. I took them in the last two rounds of the draft because I saw their names in some magazines and no one else seemed to want them. They were both called up in the last week, so they can finally earn points and victories for me. Who are you and where did you come from?

This person, Eric Hosmer, has been on my team for a while. No one drafted him. I chose him from the list of 1,300 free players listed by Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball. I like him so much that I named a player on my iPhone Baseball '11 Season Mode team after him.

New people appear. Old people get injured and you don't see them for a while. Life continues!

Kila Ka'aihue

I think this person worked at Mt. Sinai with Paul.

More Opening Day Memories

Jenni's Opening Day Memories were quite inspiring, so I thought I'd share some of my own through photos I've saved from Yahoo's photo gallery. These photos are not related to the actual playing of baseball. To be honest, I'm kind of overwhelmed by the start of baseball and managing four fantasy leagues (two of which are daily), so my thoughts are quite disorganized and more incoherent than usual. It appears that I'm also coming down with a bug of sorts, which may have added to the frenzy. Jenni and I are twins, after all--though I have yet to take black capsule pills to get better. Anyway, here are my favorite images from Opening Day and some rambling commentary.

Pedro looks so happy.

I don't know much about this tradition of singing Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" at sporting events, but I do know that Puck sang it to Rachel on "Glee." I was incredibly pleased to hear Diamond singing it live at the game during the radio broadcast of the Yankees vs. Red Sox game.

I like the use of quotes on the guy's sweatshirt.

LOS METS! It's telling that the guy's hand is totally obscuring Jose Reyes. Let's hope he has a good, healthy return tomorrow. Los Mets can't be competing for second-to-last place against the Nationals. That's just too sad.

Are those CRUSTACEANS on the grill? What?

I don't like the Cubs, but damn, I felt really sorry for them when Jason Heyward did the MASHY on Zambrano. Jenni sent me this good article about Heyward. When the Braves come to Wrigley, I'll be sure to hide the car by going somewhere on the south side. Lawrence's Fisheries, anyone?

The caption for this photo read something like, "A band performs at the Kansas City Royals game." A BAND.

Here are the Royals dancers. I wish the girls in the front would be a little more coordinated.

Yeah BOSS DALEY! Who runs the best city in the world? A White Sox fan.

Best mascot ever. This image fills me with hope--not for the White Sox, not for baseball, but for humanity. THIS IS BEYOND BASEBALL.

Bonus image from MLB.TV: a nice view of Chone Figgin's head.

Bonus images (or penalty images, depending on your disposition towards the Marlins) for the Marlins' home opener (I realize there are many home openers that were not on Opening Day, but in my being overwhelmed, and in Yahoo not having photographic records of all home openers, this is what I have so far):

MERMAIDS!

Jenni also had sent me this article about Hanely Ramirez's necklace. There were no images of the necklace itself, so I was very glad to see this picture. I appreciate the photographer using the flash so we can all get a glimpse of the teal diamond as a decimal point.

This is really a penalty image; sorry. Creed's singer, Scott Something, sang the national anthem at the Marlins' home opener tonight. Do I need to say that the Dodgers beat the Marlins, 7-3? The Fish are doomed ￣︿￣

More rambling reports form my frazzled but excited brain to come!

AL Central

Now that we've conquered the AL East, these divisional rankings are getting a bit tricky. While it's possible that not knowing many of the players in the AL Central led to greater impartiality on my part, scrolling through 132 mugshots comprised mostly of Midwestern nobodies gave me something akin to highway hypnosis. As follows, judgment was a bit fuzzy and ratings were universally low. Here are the results!

First were the Cleveland Indians, with a team average of 4.62.

The Good Vibes Tribe: Grady Sizemore, Andy Marte, Fausto Carmona

We call it Grady-metrics for a reason. Mr. Sizemore and his bashful eyelashes got a 9. Despite my habitual raving about his handsomeness, I'm not actually THAT interested in Grady Sizemore and, before researching today's post, had never bothered to read anything about him. I wish I had. The following excerpt from an interview with ESPN's Kenny Mayne took my appreciation of Grady to the next level:

KM: Is it true that after games, there are a dozen women waiting for you?
GS: It might be, but they're all 16, so I'd go to jail.
KM: Is it so professional now that you have publicists do that kind of lead work for you? Or is it still the old-fashioned way: You meet a girl at a bookstore or something?
GS: Yes, a bookstore. That's where I meet them.

In the continental philosophy section, I'm sure. Andy Marte got a 7 and Fausto Carmona got a 6 (because, really, Fausto Carmona is a beautiful name).

[Not Going to Make Any Off-Color Jokes]: Cliff Lee, Kerry Wood, Asdrubal Cabrera

Cliff Lee got a 4 and Kerry Wood (not sure what's happening with his mouth, there) got a 3, as did Asdrubal Cabrera. The next time I play Final Fantasy or some such similar RPG, I'm going to name my black mage Asdrubal, my white mage Fausto, my hero Grady, and my princess Jenni. Just kidding. The white mage and the princess are USUALLY THE SAME CHARACTER. I guess Fausto can be the token funny sidekick (robot, bard, dwarf, whatever).

In second place, were the Minnesota Twins with an average of 4.52. And the Kansas City Royals with an average of...uh...4.52.

Twice as Nice: Joe Maurer (6), Denard Span (6), Carlos Gomez (7)

Double the Pain: Boof Bonser (2), Mike Redmond (2), Jason Kubel (3)

I can't honestly say that I'm anything but indifferent to everyone on this team.

Royal Flush: Mike Jacobs (6), Mike Aviles (7), Jose Guillen (6)

As for the Royals, I gave Mike Jacobs one extra point because I mistakenly thought that his name was Marc Jacobs, which made me think about how awesome it would be to see Marc Jacobs hit a home run in his kilt.

Court Jesters: Joakim Soria (3), Luke Hochevar (2), Kyle Farnsworth (5)

Joakim Soria looks pretty cute in that photo, but his Fantasy Baseball Preview mugshot was MESSED UP and Luke Hochevar looks almost as bad as A.J. Burnett, here. My real problem with the Royals is Kyle Farnsworth, who I seriously hate. He's not a bad-looking guy, but he SUCKS SO BAD AT BASEBALL. Whenever he took the mound for the Yankees, I wanted to stab myself in the face. And then he cried when he got traded! Crying should only be used to manipulate the press into believing that you're sorry for using steroids!

Coming in fourth were the Chicago White Sox, who averaged 4.26.

Chi-Town Charmers: Jerry Owens, Jermaine Dye, Dayan Viciedo

I feel like Sam, Kei and Mordecai are going to take serious issue with my picks in both categories, which is fine. My mugshot assesment gave straight 7s to Jerry Owens, Jermaine Dye and Dayan Viciedo. I like that shirt-tie combo!

Cowtown Losers: Mark Buehrle, Alexi Ramirez and Bobby Jenks (sorry Kei)

Can someone tell me what's going on in that scoreboard photo? I want to say that Alexi Ramirez looks better there than usual. He got a 4. Bobby Jenks and his pink goatee got a 3 and Mark Buehrle got a 2. I bet he listens to awful music.

In last place, despite their rad logo, we have the Detroit Tigers with an average of 4.07.

The Cat's Meow: Ramon Santiago, Matt Treanor, Miguel Cabrera...throw that bat!

The Tigers have the second-most-bad-ass logo in baseball, I think. I love that gothic D! Miguel Cabrera got an 8 and Matt Treanor got a 6. I couldn't find any internet photos to support my high 7 for Ramon Santiago, but I like the way he wears his uniform.

D-troit's D-grade: Jeremy Bonderman, Magglio Ordonez, Joel Zumaja

These guys all clearly deserve the 2s that I gave them. Without getting too much into the Guitar Hero thing, I'd like to call special attention to the fish hovering above the right shoulder of Joel Zumaja. Detroit is so weird.

I'd like to note that I've traveled all the way to Chicago to make this post about the AL Central. Maybe next week, I'll be lucky enough to be writing from California or Seattle when we look at the AL West.