Washington D.C., here is the face of your baseball salvation:
Stephen Strasburg, 7 innings, 14 strikeouts, no walks, gets the win, gets pied, gets a funny founding father plastic wig.* Nationals, no! Don't burden him with vestiges of your/our country's tepid past. He is THE FUTURE. STEP FORWARD INTO THE LIGHT.
*Actually, this is an Elvis wig and some sort of Nationals dugout tradition. I didn't know this because I've never watched an entire Nationals game...especially not one where they won. Have you?