Good Morning, Jenni

I've been sleeping. I've been hibernating. I've been so preoccupied with wondering where I'm going to have to move to become Peyton Manning's art adviser that I completely failed to finish the Grady Sizemore injury rant I started writing two weeks ago. It's time to wake up.

Three nights ago, I dreamt that I met Cole Hamels and his skin was moon-bright, like a glowing porcelain doll. Last night, I listened to four hours of Fantasy Baseball podcasts. By the end, I was saying things like "I hate him" and "Oh God, I hate him" out loud to no one. It's like I'm in Emotional Spring Training.

Yeah, I'm ready to give my life back to you, baseball. Here's a celebratory photograph of Matt Kemp. Big League Stew seems to think it was an error or a prank. I just think it's a prediction.

Good luck to all the players I love! Good luck (but not as good) to all the players I hate, too, just to be nice. LET'S GET READY FOR BASEBALL!!!!