Happy Birthday to the person I speak and listen to when I'm very depressed or confused about life, i.e. my Imaginary Friend Who is Also A Real Person that Has an Independent Life Beyond the Confines of My Brain. Happy Birthday, Real Derek Jeter. I hope you can win the World Series and then have at least five more productive years before retiring and hiring me to curate and manage the Derek Jeter Museum. Old age is coming, but it may be kind to us both.
I wish I could eat this snack stadium in honor of your birthday, but that's probably too much sodium.