Cole Hamels May Never Win Again

For about a month now, I've been obsessed with Cole Hamels' next win. When will it ever come? Did you know that he's 7-11 for the season and broke his seven game losing streak tonight by earning a NO DECISION against the ASTROS? The Phillies have scored ONE RUN over his last TWENTY-SIX innings.

The saddest part is that his pitching has been 90% okay and 10% very good. Cole, I'm sorry, but it's obvious that your teammates hate you.


At this point, even the internet hates you. When I Google imaged "Cole Hamels," this is what happened:

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Oh Cole, what are you going to do if you go winless through September? What are you going to do if you somehow make the playoffs and still can't get any run support?

I have an idea. I have two ideas, even. One is move to New York and play with the Yankees. The other is move to a tropical moon deep in outer space and become the first human transplant to the Alien Baseball League.

Because, like Kei and Lil Wayne said last year, they sent us Nick Swisher and it's time to return the favor.

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:)

The moon, Cole, the moo-oo-oon.