The Phillies Hate Cole Hamels Just Like California Hated Sam Seaborn

Sam Seaborn  Cole Hamels: I'm gonna lose.
Toby Ziegler The Philadelphia Phillies: Yeah.
Sam Seaborn: There's no chance of a miracle?
Toby Ziegler: No.
Sam Seaborn: Then why are you here?
Toby Ziegler:  You're gonna lose, and you're gonna lose huge. They're gonna throw rocks at you next week, and I wanted to be standing next to you when they did.

I want to say one thing, which is that Cole Hamels and Sam Seaborn look 93% exactly the same. And I want to say another thing, which is that the Phillies have lost all four of Cole's starts this season and only two of them were his fault.

(Tangentially, both Cole Hamels and Sam Seaborn are from California. That said, I do not think that Cole Hamels will be President one day because obviously America's baseball president will be Derek Jeter.)