Baseball semi-started this week, with a Mariners-A's series at Tokyo Dome. I saw my first-ever professional baseball game there in 2005 with Marti. In this picture, I didn't really like baseball and I'm holding a #24 flag with absolutely no awareness of its emotimagical connotations. Life gets different, sometimes.
For instance, Japan turned the Mariners Moose into a giant, break-dancing inflatable.
Time made Ichiro's hair turn gray and Dustin Ackley's beard grow. Time may also have turned Dustin Ackley into a good baseball player, because he hit the first home run of 2012.
I've been so singularly focused on Derek Jeter aging that I've neglected to remember that the same thing is happening to Ichiro out on the West Coast. Acknowledged or not, we're all getting older. Here's a photo of Ichiro confronting the bright white future.
Dustin Ackley is still young. TWENTY-FOUR, in fact. Are you going to be great this year, Dustin?
It's not "now or never," but it is "soon or get old and disappear."
Please congratulate Hideki Matsui, your 2009 World Series MVP. And please congratulate the New York Yankees, your 2009 World Series Champions. I told you that this would happen back in February, and I'm telling you again now. WE DID IT! GO YANKEES! I LOVE BASEBALL!!!
It could just be that I'm anxious for the season to start, but good God, that was a fine game of baseball. Korea is a force to be reckoned with, but Japan has Ichiro, some amazing pitcher Hisashi Iwakuma, and Prince Yu Darvish. Fresh off of post-victory high, I will report the highlights of the game via Yahoo! and Getty Images.
Iwakuma had perfect form, or at least he does in this photo, and a nice blue glove:
His pitching was pretty much impeccable. I was worried that Japan had used up Matsuzaka and Darvish in yesterday's game against the United States, but damn, this Iwakuma man threw his shit! So few pitches, so many innings, compared to Korean starter Jung Keun Bong.
This crash at second base was nuts. Mordecai noticed something had flown off to the side--it was a piece of the brim of Lee's helmet. Later on a reporter showed the helmet in more detail, with extra cracks on the front and side of the helmet's body. Nutso!
Shin Soo Choo, or S S Choo, of the Cleveland Indians, was not messing around. He had the first run for Korea, homering to left field.
Darvish almost messed it up but Ichiro saved everything. I cannot get over how consistent and reliable Ichiro is.
Here, Darvish has just sunk the S S Choo*. Darvish is also secretly thanking Ichiro for saving the game and Darvish's future contract with an MLB club from dipping into merely single-digit millions of dollars. Japan wins in 10 innings, 5-3.
You can browse Darvish's blog and his wife's blog here and here, respectively, though I'm not sure how often Darvish posts photos. Darvish's father runs a store at the Darvish Gallery, where you can purchase special Persian blue roses, among other things. Excuse me while I go search for Darvish jerseys on the Internets.
*Credits for this great lyrical phrase goes to Joe, spoken before we parted ways after watching the game. ETA: Apparently, the original credit for this metaphor/reference/item of literary genius goes to Nar, who was making jokes about the S S Choo going transatlantic much earlier in the evening. Naturally, everything went over my head until it was pointed out to me explicitly, as usual.
While the kanji in Ichiro's name actually spell out "most cheerful," not "first boy," he was the first baseball player of which I was consciously aware and has remained both a nostalgic favorite and a subject of unending fascination throughout the years. Moreover, Ichiro was the first Japanese position player to play regularly for the Major Leagues, the first person to hit an inside-the-park home run during an All-Star game, and the Ichiroll was one of the first things New York Times food reporter Peter Meehan ate during his trip to Safeco Field. So, in many ways, Ichiro is number one! There used to be a great Japanese television commercial to that effect, but I can't find it on the internet. Boo!
In America, he's known for his cryptic sayings, some ambiguous to the point of meaninglessness: "It was either going to be an extremely boring day, or then again maybe not." Others just weirdly hilarious: "To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying." And, of course, "Tiger is a great golfer, but…when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about [golfers or race-car drivers], I don't want to see them run. It's the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she's an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed."
Ichiro and an American sportsman with uncontestable running abilities
He's also made his dog quite famous, first by refusing to tell reporters its name (he had to wait for the dog's permission), and then by announcing its pivotal role in his decision to re-sign with the Mariners in 2007 (the dog said "Woof, woof, woof," which meant, "Stay, stay, stay." Too bad, because Ichiro would have made a first-rate Yankee).
Ichiro the killer
In Japan, though, where the standards of weirdness are a bit looser, Ichiro is a first-rate celebrity who has guest-starred on a popular crime drama (he played a murderer who gets arrested) and who hosts his own thought-intensive television show called "Ichiro Versus." Here is a transcript that was re-printed in the Seattle Times (the other speaker is the actress Keiko Matsuzaka):
Off-camera narrator: Ready? Associate to this thought: First encounter. Matsuzaka: Your first step into an unknown world. Ichiro: Forgive me, I was just a curious 18-year-old. (Guest and studio hands laugh out loud.) Narrator: Your teenage years. Matsuzaka: Quick maturation through constant reprimand. Ichiro: Sacrifice. Narrator: Experience. Matsuzaka: Asset. Ichiro: What you use to develop yourself. Narrator: Workplace. Matsuzaka: At times, the promised land. Ichiro: The only place where certain things exist. Narrator: Judgment. Matsuzaka: Your inner conscience. Ichiro: Something that has to be exercised in a split second.
Deep, right? He also sells sports drinks, electricity, curry and cars:
I know that, technically, this kind of response belongs in the "comments" section, but I really wanted to share this with the world. I was in Japan during the Shinjo underwear campaign and it was INTENSE!
Starting next Friday, Sam and I will begin looking at each division in the Major Leagues and ranking its teams by level of attractiveness. We invite you to participate! Here's the schedule:
Feb. 13th, AL East Feb. 20th, AL Central Feb. 27th, AL West Mar. 6th, NL East Mar. 13th, NL Central Mar. 14th, NL West
We've got many other exciting posts planned, so keep reading and thanks for your continued support of THE GREATEST SPORT IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!
As far as my memory is concerned, this man paved the way for all of the Japanese players who have made it big in America. The first time I recall being excited about going to a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field was in the mid-90's when Nomo and the Dodgers came to play. I remember his pitching windup and the enormous thigh and butt that would rise up against his body before releasing the ball--aside from sumo wrestlers, Nomo might've been the first large Japanese person I'd ever seen.
4. Shinjo Tsuyoshi
Nevermind that Shinjo is not in MLB uniform in any of the photos above. I first came across Shinjo when the San Fransisco Giants were in the World Series back in 2002. I had no idea he was such a character. Last I saw him, he was on a Japanese TV show dedicated to animals, hanging out with young pandas. He was very affectionate towards them, and ended up helping an outcast baby panda socialize with the other "normal" pandas. He even built the panda a wooden slide! I'm not sure if the panda became more social later on, off-camera, but the segment ended with the lonesome panda hanging out with the other pandas for the first time in a long time. All thanks to Shinjo. I cried.
Bobby Jenks never lets me down; I'm always confident he'll finish the game pumping his fists. I like how he has the body of a refrigerator but the face of an eight year old boy. In the photo above (redeye photoshopped by Mordecai), I appear with live Bobby on the field, pixelated on the scoreboard, and transmitted on the U.S. Cellular screen. 3 Bobbies and 1 Happy Kei!
1. Miguel Cabrera
Miguel Cabrera and Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez got me all riled up in 2003 when the Marlins won the World Series. It was Miguel Cabrera who won my baseball heart with his boyish, innocent face (see first photo above). The Marlins kept Miguel Cabrera and I rarely heard about him after 2003 except when the Marlins would come through Chicago (second photo above). He's gained a considerable amount of weight; Joe reassures me it's fat and not steroids. I had no idea the Tigers acquired him last year, but I'll blame my ignorance on my absence from the United States for most of last summer.
Coming soon: Dishonorable Mention, Nippon Professional Baseball Picks
Time made Ichiro's hair turn gray and Dustin Ackley's beard grow. Time may also have turned Dustin Ackley into a good baseball player, because he hit the first home run of 2012. 
I've been so singularly focused on Derek Jeter aging that I've neglected to remember that the same thing is happening to Ichiro out on the West Coast. Acknowledged or not, we're all getting older. Here's a photo of Ichiro confronting the bright white future.
Dustin Ackley is still young. TWENTY-FOUR, in fact. Are you going to be great this year, Dustin?
It's not "now or never," but it is "soon or get old and disappear."
