Wednesday, February 4, 2009

"I don't fight nobody. I'm a lover."

I, too, am a lover. Neither a lover of the world, nor of most of the things contained there within, perhaps, but I am a newly converted and ardent lover of Manny Ramirez.

Everything I want to share with you about darling Manny has already been eloquently summarized in this April 2007 New Yorker article by Ben McGrath, but for those who don't like to read sentences followed by other sentences ad infinitum, here is a bullet list of my favorite Manny-isms (dated entries are copied and pasted directly from Wikipedia):

- Manny Ramirez's sons are named Manny Jr. and Manny Jr.
- He is reported to have two Social Security numbers and five active driver's licenses
- He once tried to sell a grill on eBay. The listing read:

“Hi, I’m Manny Ramirez. I bought this AMAZING grill
for about $4000. . . .But I never have the time to use it
because I am always on the road.”

The auction eventually maxed out at $99,999,999.00 and was pulled by eBay.

- May 18, 2002 - Ramirez lost his diamond earring sliding into third base during a rehab start with the Pawtucket Red Sox. After the game, 13 PawSox players and the Syracuse grounds crew combed the third base area and found the stud, but not the diamond that was worth a reported $15,000.

- August 29, 2003 - Manny expressed in an ESPN interview that he would like to play for the New York Yankees.

- August 24, 2005 - Ramirez, up with one out and the bases loaded, hit a ground ball but did not run down the first base line, resulting in an inning-ending double play.

- May 14, 2008 - At Baltimore, Manny caught a Kevin Millar fly ball to deep-left, ran up the wall, high-fived a Red Sox fan in the stands, and turned around and fired the ball back to the infield for a double play.

- July 27, 2008 - Before his game against the New York Yankees, Manny stated that he would play in Iraq if he needed to play there.

- And finally, he's always hanging out INSIDE the scoreboard!


Now, some say that Manny Ramirez is nothing but a fat, lazy, over-indulged child who disrupts team unity and does very little to justify his multi-million dollar salary, but seriously, why would anyone consider that an argument AGAINST him?

Manny Ramirez doesn't fight nobody. Manny Ramirez is a lover. I'm so glad that he's not with those god awful, terminally ugly, disgustingly untalented Red Sox anymore. Love is all. All is love.

Tomorrow, all about Ichiro...


  1. I love manny and always have...

    check out this anecdote from the same McGrath article:

    "When Manny first came to the Red Sox, he would stand in the batter's box, and the umpire would call ball four, and he would get back in the batter's box," Duquette, who is now the president of the fledgling Israel Baseball League, told me. "He did this in his first series at Fenway Park and again on his first road trip." After the third such incident, Duquette ventured down into the locker room. "I said, 'Manny, let me ask you something. I was just wondering why you get back in the batter's box after ball four.' He said, 'I don't keep track of the balls.' He said, 'I don't keep track of the strikes, either, until I got two.' Then he said, 'Duke, I'm up there looking for a pitch I can hit. If I don't get it, I wait for the umpire to tell me to go to first. Isn't that what you're paying me to do?'"


  2. Or the part where he got a speeding ticket and he said, "I don't need a ticket. I'll give YOU a ticket," and drove off....

    Manny may be a lover, but he's FIGHTING THE POWERS THAT BE.