Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Chimps and Chumps

This Sunday, the New York Times ran an article reminding us that, while chimpanzees are NOT humans, they might as well be. Of Travis the Chimp's (R.I.P.) bougie Connecticut lifestyle, we learn that:

"[He] enjoyed a nice steak dinner, washed down with a glass of wine. He knew how to log on to a computer and to channel-surf with a television remote control. He followed baseball, if you can believe Mrs. Herold, and briefly rooted for the Mets while Bobby Valentine, a Stamford native, was manager, and then switched to the Yankees. He liked to watch “anything with action,” Mrs. Herold said."

He liked the Yankees and HE KNEW HOW TO USE THE INTERNET! As follows, perhaps it was Sam's insulting post on fellow ape-man Johnny Damon that inspired poor Travis's brutal rampage. Here's an artist's rendition of the Johnny and Travis hanging out in more peaceful times (also from the Times; notice how Travis affectionately ribs his friend by wearing a Mets hat as a joke):

Oh Johnny, we've been unkind in the past, but truly we mourn your loss. You and your evolutionary family are in our thoughts and prayers. It's been a rough month for you, hasn't it?

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