Review: An Ape, a Lion and an Indian (Revisited)

Happy Friday, baseball fans. Yesterday, we got Cajun comics from Rachel and a meditation on Johnny Damon's totally sick body hair from Sam. While I agree with Sam's critique of Damon's ape-like oafishness, I also think that baseball players who look like animals can be totally cute:




Joba Chamberlain's circular face makes my heart hurt. I like him so much that I wish I were his mom. These maternal instincts began on October 5, 2007, when he was attacked by insects during the second game of the ALDS against the Cleveland Indians. Now, whenever Joba throws a wild pitch or inexplicably interferes with a throw home or gets caught drunk driving in Nebraska post-strip club, I want to sit him down and say, "Let's do it better next time, honey."

We the authors of Third Base or Bust will be doing it better, too. On Monday, we invite you to nominate your favorite Fat Hottie / Hot Fattie. And, for those who will be helping Sam and I rank the divisions, MLB.com's Fantasy Baseball Preview should prove an invaluable tool. As I was scrolling through the never-ending sea of mediocre mugshots yesterday, I was reminded of how amazingly All-American hot Grady Sizemore is:



Apparently, the internet agrees. Ladies love Grady! Meanwhile, this guy really hates Johnny Damon.

Onwards and upwards!