For the second year in a row, I was granted first draft pick in one of my Fantasy Baseball leagues. This time, I didn't spend it on possible sports brother Grady Sizemore. Instead, I did something rational and chose Albert Pujols.
He's like the Derek Jeter of the Midwest, except better at baseball and younger and taller and heavier and exponentially more powerful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he has a winning spirit and a good heart. If you disbelieve me, you can read this Sports Illustrated article. Don't do it at work, though, because you'll probably start crying when it gets to the part where he's 18 years old and working in a pizzeria to support his 21-year-old girlfriend and her baby daughter who has Down's syndrome and then they get married and go on their honeymoon to Peoria, IL.
Anyway, a Mariner's fan took Ken Griffey Jr. in the middle of the draft, so I had to scramble for an adequately symbolic last pick. I would have taken the now-retired Normal Garciaparra-Kolenik, but HE GOT DRAFTED, TOO. I guess I'm happy enough with my selection:
BARRY ZITO IS SO FAUX GROOVY. Remember when he had Twitter? Hahahahaha. In the bottom photo, what song is he thinking about playing and, in the top photo, is he on LSD?