Ladies Love Us v. 2.0: The Infield

Last year was my first season as a Fantasy Baseball manager and during our league's draft, my only objective was to construct the most beautiful, heart-pleasing team possible. Once the season started however, the skill shortage of my aesthetically elite dream squad put me at a serious disadvantage to more logically composed teams, which in turn caused my "spoiled only child sore loser" neurons to fire with such a frequency that all non-fantasy baseball thoughts were almost completely silenced. It was an intense and oftentimes unpleasant experience. This year, I attempted to make more practical decisions during our Fantasy Baseball draft. Numbers-wise, this new group of Ladies is an obvious and undeniable upgrade. Has the team become correspondingly unlovable? Well, starting with our infielders, let's take a look:

CATCHER: 2009 - PABLO SANDOVAL (SF); 2010 - MIKE NAPOLI (LAA)

Mike Napoli, while somehow not as ugly as I remember him being, is no Kung Fu Panda. I don't care if he hates Jorge Posada as much as I do, this is a LOVE DOWNGRADE.

FIRST BASE: 2009 - RUSSELL BRANYAN (SEA); 2010 - MARK REYNOLDS (ARI)

These are both Paul picks, and both are pretty good. Branyan is nondescriptly handsome and hits home runs and Reynolds is nondescriptly not unhandsome and hits home runs. Reynolds also broke his own record for Most Strikeouts in a Single Season, which is a truly remarkable accomplishment. I can't evaluate how I feel about this change at first base because Russell Branyan is on the team again this year as a bench warmer, so let's call this a LOVE DRAW.

SECOND BASE: 2009 - ROBINSON CANO (NYY); 2010 - ROBINSON CANO (NYY)

BEST SMILE IN BASEBALL!!!!! MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE MAJOR LEAGUES. I was pretty stoked to get Robbie in the 4th round, because he's a quality producer at a relatively shallow position. LOVE DRAW.

SHORT STOP: 2009 - DEREK JETER (NYY); 2010 - DEREK JETER (NYY)

Is he going to have a good year? I don't know. It doesn't, couldn't, won't ever matter. LOVE DRAW.

THIRD BASE: 2009 - CASEY BLAKE (LAD); 2010 - EVAN LONGORIA (TB)

As far as the infield goes, third base saw the most blatant sacrifice in love for talent. While Swebs has been hot for Longorium since day one, I've never really been a fan. His charmingly gappy teeth and goofy ears just don't make up for the fact that he plays for my least favorite team in all of baseball. I HATE THE RAYS. I HATE BJ UPTON. I HATE MATT GARZA. I HATE MATT GARZA I HATE MATT GARZA I HATE THE RAYS I CANNOT STAND MATT GARZA. I wanted to draft Casey Blake as a sentimental bench companion, but someone else took him first! Can you believe it? He was actually not ranked that badly. Beardless Casey is kind of a goon, but he still holds a special place in my heart. LOVE DOWNGRADE. Casey Blake owner, who are you? Let's have a talk. You can't have Evan Longoria, but maybe we can work something out.

Coming next, the outfield and my thoughts on losing Grady Sizemore....