Sunday, May 30, 2010

The Long Halladay Weekend

Rebounding from last week's uncharacteristically short and mediocre start against the Boston Red Sox, Phillie ace Roy Halladay pitched a perfect game tonight against the Florida Marlins. It was the second perfect game of the year*, the second ever for the Phillie franchise, and the 20th in MLB history. As Kei aptly tweeted, "I'm sorry that Halladay pitched a perfect game in Florida but I'm sure all 40 people were excited to witness history." Haha. When your fan promotions are "Mermaid Swimsuit Calendars" and not Snoopy dolls or Andre Ethier action figures**, maybe it's time to take a serious look at the state of your organization's soul.

In related news, Roy Halladay also smiled for the first time in 33 years. Here's proof:

Jayson Werth's hair is unbelievable. Is it weird that I miss the exhilarating
hatred I felt towards him last year when he was my Fantasy nemesis?

I watched the game at home on while eating crackers and salad dressing. To keep my heart rate down, I read Tolstoy in between innings. Here are some serviceable screengrabs from the ninth:

Top: The Phillies' one run was UNEARNED.
Have you losers heard of RUN SUPPORT?
Middle: The smiling begins. Would the Marlins have more fans
if they improved their scoreboard graphics?
Bottom: Oh hey, it's Cole Hamels! I saw him on Thursday at Citi Field.
(No stars fell out of the sky. The universe remains mostly unchanged.)

If you'd like to read a recap of the game, has this one and Tyler Kepner of the New York Times has this one. I can't wait for the Letterman Top Ten list. While I doubt that Doc will top Burls in the "adorableness" category, hearing him try (or not try) to appear interested in trying to be funny will be...STRANGE.

Today also marked Derek Jeter's 15 year anniversary of major league play. In his first game, he went 0-5 against the Mariners and then ate hamburgers at a Seattle McDonald's with his father. I thought about eating a McDonald's hamburger for dinner in his honor, but instead, like I said, I wound up eating crackers and salad dressing while watching Roy Halladay pitch a perfect game.

CONGRATULATIONS DOC! CONGRATULATIONS DEREK JETER! You're the only two players I've started in 100% of my fantasy baseball games and I love you both.

*I didn't blog about Dallas Braden's perfect game because I don't really care about him and he has an unattractive fantasy baseball mugshot. His Letterman Top Ten is suspiciously similar to Buehrle's. Come on. I could write better jokes than that.
**The Dodgers also have a series of decade themed poster promotions, including the Torre 60's, the Casey Blake 70's, the Matt Kemp 80's and the Andre Ethier 90's. In case you're wondering (like I did), Joe Torre was born in 1940, Casey Blake was born in 1973, Matt Kemp was born in 1984 and Andre Ethier was born in 1982.

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