Memorial Madness

I'm going to adopt a loose definition of "Memorial Day Weekend," and rewind the blog back to Thursday night when I waited through a windy two-hour rain delay to see Cole Hamels pitch at CitiField. He lost. He wasn't that great, but the Phillies scoring ZERO runs over 27 innings didn't help much either.

C-Hamels looks kind of like the male "dating model" from the Amazing Race.

That same night, Kei's favorite baseball player hit three home runs and my favorite player hit a grand slam. Baseball Twins SPORTS FEELINGS!!!

Top: Lord Miggy collecting a low-five from Brennan Boesch;
Bottom: BEST SMILE IN BASEBALL

On Saturday afternoon, A-Rod almost killed Indians starting pitcher David Huff. Then, the Yankees/Joba Chamberlain blew a six-run lead to lose 11-13.

I'm exaggerating. David Huff is fine, not almost dead. Also, A-Rod said he felt bad.

Also on Saturday, Angel Kendry Morales hit a walk-off grand slam against the Mariners, then immediately broke his leg in the on-field celebration. The next night, Angel Howie Kendrick hit a walk-off home run against the Mariners. No injuries resulted.

Get better soon, Kendry!

As I mentioned, Derek Jeter celebrated his 15-year anniversary this weekend. Rookie Jeter looks like a baby ostrich. Present-day Jeter hit a double. I already told you about what Roy Halladay did on Saturday night. I spent three hours drawing nine pictures of Doc Halls this afternoon. They're all pretty weird.

Never treat your life like a used t-shirt and never, never, never give up.

I don't remember what happened on Sunday, other than that the Yankees won. Apparently, I also don't remember what happened on Friday.

On Monday, everyone wore white hats to pay tribute to American soldiers. All of the teams that wear white uniforms looked like milk men. Handsome Tiger Justin Verlander lost his game. Conversely, crazy Colorado Rockie Ubaldo Jiminez pitched a complete game shut-out against the Giants. His ERA is something inhuman like 0.970 right now.

Top: Okay, maybe more like an ice cream man?
Bottom: If I saw those eyes staring directly into mine, I'd strike out, too.

I'm currently watching the D-bag v. Dodger game and have a few pieces of trivia to report:

1. Casey Blake's beard is back and it's GRAY.
2. Manny Ramirez has never homered on his birthday. He has homered 8 times (counting tonight) on the day after his birthday. Happy 800th Birthday, Man Ram!
3. The Diamondbacks' first baseman owns a ranch and brands his cattle with the phrase "E3." ERROR ON THE FIRST BASEMAN. Does this scare anyone else?
4. Man, Vin Scully knows everything...college GPAs, player hobbies and nicknames, the body counts of every major war since the American Revolution...if you haven't watched him call a game, I highly recommend it.
   

That's all! Happy Memorial Day! Goodnight!