Championship Series: Pushed to the Limit

I've completely lost track of the number of nights I've spent at home, surrounded by Yankee Snoopy dolls, watching an illegal European feed of Championship Series games on ESPN America. I did know, however, that this afternoon's game was do-or-die for the powerless Yankees who were down 3-1 to the non-stop Rangers and that the ungroomed Phillies were poised to fall into that same elimination hole against the ungroomed Giants.

After suffering through two nights of bad Yankee losses, I wasn't sure what to expect this afternoon as C.C. Sabathia faced C.J. Wilson for the second time. Did the Yankees even want to win? Who would replace Mark Teixeira? Would A-Rod get murdered?

ALCS Game 5: Yankees 7, Rangers 2

Rangers lead series 3-2
W: Sabathia (1-0), L: Wilson (0-1)
HR: TEX Treanor (1),
NYY Cano (4)!, Swisher (1), Granderson (1)

Top top: The Conan blimp and the Big C
Top bottom: Grumpy Old Jorge v. Adult Baby Kinsler
Bottom top: Mariano Rivera
Bottom bottom: Subdued Victory Parade

Robbie Cano has finally become the handsome young batting champ we always knew he could be. He credits Derek Jeter and leaving New Jersey. I'm glad that the Yankees won this game because otherwise it would've been a long postseason of watching teams I don't really care about trying to win something that my team got last year. If all else fails, it's exactly this kind of disinterested entitlement that will carry the Yankees all the way back in this series. Dis-gusting. Go Yankees!

NLCS Game 4: Giants 6, Phillies 5

Giants lead series 3-1
W: Wilson (1-0), L: Oswalt (1-1)

Despite all of the interesting things that kept happening in this game, I fell asleep halfway through and woke up to find Roy Oswalt on the mound in the 9th inning of a tied game. WTF. Didn't he just pitch Game 2?

He lost tonight's game after bouncing two balls off of Juan Uribe, which the home plate umpire ignored. Then Uribe hit the pop fly that scored the winning run. PAYBACK. The Phillies, like the Yankees, are now one game away from elimination. If Roy Halladay weren't on this team, I wouldn't care at all. As it is, he'll attempt to save their season tomorrow night against the strikeout Boy-King Tim Lincecum and I hope he goes California-blackout-style lights out. YOU CAN DO IT, DOC!

Top: Ugh Jayson Werth
Middle: Andres Torres caught stealing
Bottom: Ruiz takes out Buster Posey...
or rather, Buster Posey tags out Ruiz

I am happy to report that Big Fat Giant Panda Pablo Sandoval hit a panda-sized 2-run double tonight. Woolsey claims via Facebook that he is "slimmer in real life." Please. Even if this is true, that's like saying that the moon is smaller than you thought it would be. It's still the moon and Pablo Sandoval is fat. These things I declare eternal truths.

Is it just me or does Juan Uribe look like the slim panda of Woolsey's imagination? Also, why do all of the San Fransisco pitchers have intense black beards?

Just kidding, we know the answer to that last question.

Phillies Game 5 will be tomorrow on FOX, if you still get that channel.
Yankees Game 6 will be Friday night on TBS, which nobody gets. Honestly. Television needs to figure some shit out because this is Important.