Wednesday, June 24, 2009

In Which Our Errant Men Hobble Homewards

Spending last week on life's DL has brought me slightly closer to recently wounded Indian and eternal dreamboat Grady Sizemore. The frustration of not being able to perform one's favorite activities is something we now share. Thankfully, both of us rallied back to action last night: Grady, by going 2/5 with a 2RBI triple, and me, by limping all the way to Greenpoint without falling over in exhausted exasperation. While no members of the media were present to capture the miracle of Jenni walking, some mean-spirited ass masquerading as a professional photographer snapped this image of Grady before his game-changing triple.

Apparently, Grady and I also share a love of pouting under pressure.

I swear to God that Getty Images hates Grady Sizemore. They never posted photos of him before his injury and, upon his fairly triumphant return, this is what they give us? Please. Somebody get me their address because I'm ready to file a formal complaint.

In other news, Manny Ramirez played his first minor league game last night, going 0/2 in four innings with the Albuquerque Isotopes. According to Peter Pascarelli of ESPN's Baseball Today podcast, Manny is "jacked like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator." When I shared this news with Paul, who co-manages both Grady and Manny on our Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball Team, he said, "What, so he's on MORE drugs?" Haha. Not that I'd be surprised....

Anyway, here's Manny stretching and failing to hit a minor league pitch. He looks pretty good, no?

"I'm baaaaaaack!"

And finally, while we're on the topic of men trying finding their ways home, here's a photo of Derek Jeter bending beneath the burden of the Yankees' awful hitting drought.

"...Lead us not into Red Sox nation and deliver us from A-Rod..."

Derek! I believe in you! Lest you've forgotten, let me end by directly quoting the last paragraph of your autobiography:
Believe me, I'm thankful every day that my dreams have unfolded. I think about what I have to do to improve, about how long my career might last, about where I've been, and about where I should be going. I keep myself motivated that way. Now, grab a hold of your life and take it seriously. Face the challenges and work hard to do everything you want to do. That's what I did and what I'm still doing. You can't treat your life like a soiled T-shirt, not for one day.
Amen. So, readers, remember, even if you're physically broken like Grady, spiritually corrupt like Manny, or floundering miserably in a sea of woes like the Yankees, never treat your life like a soiled T-shirt. Not even for one day.

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