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I would say that Mark Teixeira lacks the ability to emote facially, but I've definitely seen him open his mouth REALLY WIDE when happy. So, I don't know. Maybe he's a new kind of humanoid that only transmits straight-laced positive vibes...a law-bot prototype designed by corporations to combat the free-wheeling, free-love mayhem inherent to the impending Age of Aquarius. I mean, what would YOU do if someone threw a blazing fastball at your ass?
But because I've already promised not to overly mock Teixiera on this blog (and honestly, I do love the guy), I'll end by admitting that many baseball players make strange faces. Here are two of the league's best closers celebrating narrow wins. First, we have Man Mountain attempting to jump for joy after preserving the Dodgers' amazing 8th inning comeback against the D'backs:
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