Wednesday, August 12, 2009

David & Goliath

In an attempt to revive the Marauders of Time Fantasy Blog, I wrote a post regarding the Tigers vs. Red Sox brawl that occurred Tuesday night. But then Mordecai asked me why I posted it there when it has nothing to do with Fantasy, and why not on TBOB? So here it is, in full effect, not just in the form of a lame link! See the original post on MOT for Mordecai's insightful comment.


It all really started yesterday when Brandon Inge and Miguel Cabrera were hit by Boston pitches, and when Edwin Jackson hit Youkilis. But today's "oh HELL naw" started with this 23 year old kid, Junichi Tazawa, when he hit Miggy in the hand and bruised him day-to-day. OMG MIGGY.

I wonder what Tazawa's intentions were, or if he was instructed to hit Miggy. This kid looks familiar, but I may be completely making things up. In any case, Tazawa seems to hail from Yokohama, so I can't totally hate on that. If he's known to hang around Isezaki-cho, then I can see why he'd try to hit someone to protect Youkilis Sempai. But that's not gonna go without consequences. The Tigers have a young lion with the spirit of SIMBA, RICK PORCELLO. I call him "Ricky P."

This is just sick to look at. Youkilis' face should be pixelated, like when people don't want the world to know what they look like, or when someone swears and a TV network blurs their mouth so the children can't read lips, except all over his nasty face. WTH, is Youkilis 12 years old or so?

Anyway, Porcello wins.

Porcello looks good angry with that Slam Dunk-esque hair. I like how Papa Leyland is taking him home.

PLACIDO POLANCO CAN ONLY HIT WITH PEOPLE ON BASE! Curtis Granderson had brought whoever was on base before him with a homerun, so bases were empty when Polanco went up to bat. Tigers lose, 5-7. But today, I share some of my infinite baseball love for Miggy with Ricky P. Baseball love, Tigers love, brotherly love, LOVE IS ALL!


  1. That third photo is going to give me nightmares.

    When I noticed that the game had been delayed in the 6th or 7th, I was like, "I BET SOMEONE GOT MURDERED," but then I saw that it was just rain.

    Anyway, thanks very much for posting this on both blogs, Kei. It's important for TBOB readers to know that KEVIN YOUKILIS IS A MONSTER.

  2. I also thought that something went down in the 7th when the game got delayed, but was relieved and disappointed to find out it was merely Mother Nature.

    If anyone wants more nightmares, you can go to (at least for now) where the opening video is of Miggy's HBP, Porcello vs. Youkilis, and Mike Lowell's homerun. I like how in the brawl, there are lots of people just standing there, like Tigers SS Ramon Santiago. I wonder if Miggy is going to buy Porcello dinner like Justin promised for Granderson for saving his shut out against the Indians a couple months ago.