Thursday, June 30, 2011

What Happened to Your Face?

Cole Hamels left today's game against the Red Sox with a "contusion to his glove hand." But what is going on with his chin?

Doesn't he look young? Maybe he cut himself shaving? Please don't be injured, Cole.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Catch It!

It's been a few days since I scrolled through the Yahoo! Sports MLB Photo gallery. I was going to post a gross-looking photo of Brian Wilson licking his gross-looking beard, but then I thought "Jenni, don't hate." Here, instead, are some photos of center fielders jumping to catch balls. They are Franklin Gutierrez, Ichiro Suzuki, Brett Gardner, Grady Sizemore (back when he could play baseball without injuring himself), and Ken Griffey Jr.

Don't hate...elevate!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Evan Longoria's Hair, The Sequel

I got pretty excited when I read this last night:

Evan Longoria's hair is the reason 75% of all readers arrive at this blog. I watched the Rays game for five minutes, hoping that he would give an in-game-dugout interview or that his batting helmet would fall off, but this is the best photo I got:

LinkLuckily, other bloggers are more dedicated to cause:

You should click on that link to see Matt Joyce's stoned-poodle haircut. I've picked him up and dropped him multiple times in both of my Fantasy Leagues. He may be off the teams for good, now that I know what he looks like.

As for Evan, I like the long hair better.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

You Wanted More Information About Cole Hamels, Right?

People keep contributing to the internet's treasure trove of Cole Hamels knowledge. There aren't any colorful anecdotes in this in this article, but there are some baseball statistics and these sentences that validate my season-long claim that Hamels is an ace:
"This is a pitcher who has improved his arsenal to take the step to the next level. He is a true fantasy ace." -Tristan H. Cockcroft, professional sports writer

This old, unflattering picture accompanies the article on's Fantasy Baseball homepage. Although I do like these white uniforms and blue hats a lot,'s Fantasy Baseball art director should feel free to call or email me if he or she needs access to an archive of more attractive Cole photos. Or if he or she needs a summer intern. It's officially summer and I know how to use a fax machine.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Sunday Night

I frequently cite the fact that all Iowans are Cubs fans when explaining my dislike of the Cubs. (We can explore the animosity I feel towards my mental conception of the anonymous group people who provided a safe and pleasant community for my family and I in a separate post on the "Understanding Jenni's Psychological Perspective and Wrong Ideas Blog.") That said, I didn't know that I knew any actual Cubs fans until my friend told me to "suck it" after the Cubs beat the Yankees in the first game of this weekend's series. The Yankees came back to take the remaining two games. Friend, you "suck it."

That said, Wrigley Field is a place I'd like to visit, especially after Dave Eggers told the internet that watching the Cubs isn't the point of going there. You can read more of what Dave Eggers thinks about it, here. You can see a photo of it from Sunday night's game, here:

C.C. Sabathia pitched on Sunday night. He hasn't been lights-out-super-amazing these last two weeks, but he did win the game. He also swung a bat, which is not something that happens very often.

I usually think of C.C. as the "ace" of my Dynasty Keeper League team, but that title probably belongs to Cole Hamels. He only gave up two runs, but still lost the game to some Mariner named Jason Vargas on Sunday. The Mariners have a lot of good pitchers and at least two new, young hitters. Are they going to be championship contenders before we turn 40?

Chase Utley is back. He and Jason Vargas performed a bird dance together.

I don't know if I've ever posted a photo of a Giant other than Buster Posey, Tim Lincecum or Eli Manning, but I saw this angry photo of Cody Ross and thought to myself "Yes, this is why I hate him." I like to encourage people to dislike the things that I hate, so maybe the photo will make you feel the same way I feel.

Don't like Cody Ross and don't like the Cubs. You can like Cole Hamels if you want, but not if we play Fantasy Baseball together. You can like the Yankees, no matter who you are. That would mean a lot to me.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day

To sports dads and all dads.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Who Are You?

Today, I felt like looking at some people that I've never seen before:

Mike Moustakas and Dustin Ackley have been sitting on my Grinnell College Fantasy bench for roughly three months. I took them in the last two rounds of the draft because I saw their names in some magazines and no one else seemed to want them. They were both called up in the last week, so they can finally earn points and victories for me. Who are you and where did you come from?

This person, Eric Hosmer, has been on my team for a while. No one drafted him. I chose him from the list of 1,300 free players listed by Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball. I like him so much that I named a player on my iPhone Baseball '11 Season Mode team after him.

New people appear. Old people get injured and you don't see them for a while. Life continues!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Sometimes, Things Happen

I messed up my blog layout and Derek Jeter got injured. Why is the world the way it is?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Derek Jeter 3,000 Hit Countdown

It's going to happen this week. It's going to happen this week! THIS WEEK.

Here's a link to an archive of related Sports Illustrated stories. I read the article about Derek Jeter's fan mail and this is my favorite part:
It would mean "so, so much" if Jeter would accept people's gifts of bubble gum, poems (2), cookies (by the 100s), audio letters (2), shoes (wrong size), needlepoint, novels (2), rambling seven-page essays about Pokemon (6, all from the same woman) and a dead woman's favorite Yankees T-shirt and shorts, which, after three weeks in a plastic bag, stank to wherever she is now. "It was her final wish," wrote her daughter. "I'm hoping they bring you luck."
I promise that I'm not the woman who sent six seven-page essays about Pokemon.

I probably couldn't even write one.

(Photos via)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What Things Look Like

Shit. The Red Sox got good again. I keep hearing that Dustin Pedroia is a nice person, but that's not going to stop me from seeing a giant prairie rodent every time I look at him:

In happier news, a still-clean-shaven Cole Hamels struck out nine over eight shut out innings tonight. And he won the game! Here are some recent photos I took of other televised or digitized images of Cole's chin:
And finally, this is what the psyche of young San Fransisco looks like:

Buster Posey, I'm also sorry you broke your fibula. I still think you're going to be a star and everyone loves you.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

An old photo of Younger Mike Mussina and a new photo of Old Mike Mussina

I'm behind on "things I want to talk to you about on the internet," but I saw this photo on Yahoo! Sports Big League Stew, keyword Fashion Umpire and I didn't want to let it just drift away.

I miss Mike Mussina. He has gray stubble now:

In honor of the Fake Mustache Gray Moose, here are some tips on doing crossword puzzles from Martha Stewart and Will Shortz. I once tried to write enough Yankee puns to make a crossword theme, but quickly realized that 1) I'm not good at puns and 2) crosswords have a lot of rules. If anyone wants to incorporate "Robinson Canoe" into their baseball crossword puzzle, you may use it free of charge.

Later, we'll discuss Buster Posey's horrible, tragic, depressing, fantasy-team-stalling injury and some fashion photographs I saw of Cole Hamels.