Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Angels, Cards, Catwoman, Cano

Last night, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim became the third team to clinch their division title by becoming kings of the AL West. Here they are paying tribute to teammate Nick Adenhardt (R.I.P.) after beating the flailing Rangers 11-0. I know that Dodgers fans aren't supposed to like the Angels, but how sweet is former-Yankee Bobby Abreu with that super enthusiastic peace sign? And Torii Hunter...he's like the Derek Jeter of the West Coast, except funnier and less fiscally responsible. This team has major heart. I'll still post 8,000 photos of Casey Blake (sitting on the bench with his stupid leg injury) on this blog once the Dodgers clinch their division title and read Joe Torre's book this winter and collect Matt Kemp baseball cards, but I'm not going to hate on the Angels just to be a better Dodgers fan.

Believe it or not, the Yankees were not the first team to clinch their division. That honor belongs to the St. Louis Cardinals, who beat the Rockies 1-0 to win the NL Central title on Saturday. Who knew? Not me. Part of the problem stems from the fact that googling the phrase "Cardinals clinch division" turns up photos like this:

Yup. I don't know what else you'd expect from a city that's 90% strip malls. Anyway, good job Cards.

Just so you know, the Yankees are the team with the baseball's best record (with a .643 WP to the Dodgers' second best .592 and the National's worst .340), as well as the only team to have won more that 100 games this season. And, unlike the dour faced Cards, they're STILL PARTYING. Here's backup shortstop Ramiro Pena flashing a goofy grin after hitting his first ever Major League home run last night. How old do you think he is? 19? 12?

HE'S 24!!!! If I were a Mexican boy, I'd probably look exactly like Ramiro Pena. Here he is dressed as Catwoman during the Yankees' annual rookie hazing day. Derek Jeter reportedly said that Pena looked "just like Halle Berry." So, I guess Halle Berry is what I'd look like if I were a Mexican boy in drag.

Perma-favorite Robbie Cano hit a grand slam last night, breaking open the Yankees' lead against the Royals and also catapulting my Fantasy Team out of the depths of RBI hell. Thanks, Robbie! Can you believe that Fantasy Baseball is still going? I thought that shit ended WEEKS ago.

Melky Cabrera looks like a squirrel. How old do you think he is? 25?

You're right!


  1. As a devoted cardinals fan, I feel I must direct your attention to Brendan Ryan's mustache.
    I feel like Brendan is striking a 1893 Panic Chic. Or something.

    That is very depressing about the photos of our team. We should be represented exclusively by Rick Ankiel and Albert. And perhaps the apparently 14-year old Colby Rasmus.

  2. Thank you very much, Rachel, for that mustache. I love high socks!