Thursday, April 16, 2009

Ichiro Returns, Hits Grand Slam, Fucks With My Fantasy Standings

A bleeding ulcer caused Ichiro to miss the start of the Mariners' season, but last night he was back from the DL, going 2 for 5, stealing a base, and hitting a grand slam in the seventh inning. This performance dropped my fantasy lead against Nate's computer-generated, computer-managed and generally unloved team from 11-0 to 10-2. Still, I can't pretend to be angry about this. Welcome back, Ichiro! I love you!

Oh! And Derek Jeter came through again, driving in both the tying run in the 8th and the winning run in the 9th AGAINST MY LEAST FAVORITE TEAM IN BASEBALL. CAP'N CRUNCH, INDEED!

Today's the Yankees' much awaited home opener. All of the fancy, boring, historical stuff is happening as I type and the game starts at 1pm. Last year, I watched the old stadium closer with John Chavez while eating cold, soggy hamburgers. Today, I'll probably be watching the new stadium opener alone at a bar. I need more unemployed friends who like baseball, obviously.

UPDATE: Ichiro also turned into Samurai Warrior, courtesy of Paul.

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