Saturday, April 4, 2009

Stand by Your Man (Sometimes it Pays Off)

When I first started paying attention to baseball in 2006, Robinson Cano was in his second year with the Yankees and absolutely on fire. He ended up batting .342 that season, before slumping significantly in 2007 and 2008. Last year was especially tough for Robbie, who got benched for "lack of hustle" and also saw his Best Baseball Friend Forever (BBFF from now on), Melky Cabrera, sent down to the minors. During these dark times, my affection for him was unwavering. However, this winter saw my baseball horizons exponentially broadened by this blog and I often found myself wondering if Robbie Cano was still my favorite player. He's a good looking guy, sure, but he doesn't have the personality of Manny, the idiosyncrasy of Ichiro, the eerily David Lynchian banality of Jeter or the Aw Shucks Midwestern-ness of Grady Sizemore and Casey Blake. Last night, as I watched a rebroadcast of the Yankees exhibition stadium opener against the Cubs (they have a real stadium opener against the Indians in two weeks), I almost groaned when Robbie came up for his first at-bat. Surely, he would strike out, let me down, and further expediate his exodus from my heart. Instead, HE HIT THE FIRST HOME RUN AT THE NEW YANKEE STADIUM! It was as if God himself were speaking to me through Robbie Cano's arm and saying, "Jenni, have faith." Thank you God, I will. ROBINSON CANO, EVEN IF YOU SUCK THIS YEAR, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAVORITE BASEBALL PLAYER.

Stand by Your Men: Rodruigez, Jeter and Cano

Derek Jeter looked like a faithful but tired old hound dog last night and I kept imagining a scene at the end of October wherein Joe Girardi holds a solemn press conference to announce that our beloved captain had played the entire season blind in one eye. And then everyone cries and Jeter comes out and says, "It's true...I've been blind since April, but I didn't want to distract anyone's attention away from what really matters...and that, ladies and gentlemen, is the fine sport of baseball." [Applause, cheers, crying and weeping] I think he hit a three-run home run today, though, so maybe his washed-upness is just my imagination.

Here are a few other assorted thoughts from last night:

1. The Yankees starting lineup was SO WHITE: Jeter, Damon, Teixera, Matsui, Cano, Nady, Ransom, Gardner. Cody Ransom and Brett Gardner look EXACTLY THE SAME. The difference, of course, being that only one of them was involved in a gory college bus crush that killed all of his team mates.

2. Mark Teixera looks kind of like a goon.

3. The new Yankee Stadium looks FUCKING AWESOME.

4. I miss hating on A-Rod.

5. Baseball is the best.


  1. The link says it only killed two of his teammates. Anyway I wonder if they ended up like the football team in the waiting room to hell in "Beetlejuice."

  2. Stop bringing up facts that destroy the elaborately constructed system of myths on which my love of the Yankees depends. That is rude.