Indian Wood?

I was never a huge Kerry Wood fan, even back in his Chicago heyday when he struck out 20 or whatever and almost took the Cubs to the world series (along with that other dude). He always looked a little too baby faced and farm boy-y for my taste. But seeing that he's no longer with the Cubs did twinge my hometown (but not home team) heart strings just a bit.

But whatever sense of false longing I might have temporarily felt was quickly erased when I saw Wood's new OFFICIAL TEAM picture.


What are those face pubes doing on his chin well beyond regulation "goatee" length? I think it goes without saying that this man could take a couple grooming cues from you-know-who. He also has the expression of a scared child, which is in stark contrast to these guys, and especially him. Kerry Wood needs to get his shit together.*

*He did pitch a scoreless inning of relief today so I guess he's got that going for him.