Congratulations, Scholars

I only had one day off this weekend and I spent most of it being depressed about the Red Sox. Some people spent it finishing school, though. Happy graduation to anyone who graduated!

If you like looking at photos of athletes, you should follow the Sports Illustrated vault on Twitter. They frequently have collections of things like "athletes with boats" or "athletes spitting" or "Tom Brady's hair." And photos like this:

I am too angry to enjoy this cute photo, so here is a great gallery of baseball players arguing with umpires, which is more The Way That I Feel.

Heart Conflict, Rays Drama

This is a photo of Joe Torre watching his heart-team rally to beat his job-team in the 10th inning.

The three Yankees-Dodgers games in LA this weekend were like a World Series of attractiveness. Thank you Interleague Play for bringing together the two best looking teams in baseball. More thoughts and photos to follow.

In other news, B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria quarreled in the Rays dugout after Upton failed to hustle in a game against the last-place Arizona D'Backs.

The oddly composed top photo of Upton's snarling mouth and Longoria's furrowed brow looks like an oil painting to me. "Portrait of the Rays as a Third Place Team," by The Associated Press.

Fantasy Baseball Days are Here Again

Kei and I blog our fantasy baseball league here.
Sports feelings! GET READY!!!!!!

Remaining Races, Head Cases

Last year, Joe Torre's Dodgers blazed through September, going 16-6 to clinch the NL West crown on September 26, 2008. Although they're guaranteed to return to the playoffs again this year, they've yet to clinch their division. Despite having played their last eight games against three of the weakest teams in the Major Leagues, the team that started the 2009 with the best record in baseball just can't get it done. Two games back are division rivals the Colorado Rockies, who the Dodgers will face in a three game home series this weekend. I have NEVER met ANYONE who supports the Rockies. COME ON DODGERS. EARN YOUR LOVE.

Here are some celebratory photos from last year to set the mood:



Still battling it out in the AL Central are Kei's beloved Detroit Tigers and Joe Mauer's wholesome Twinkies.

People have been talking about Joe Mauer becoming a Yankee in 2011. Sure, he's handsome enough to join the best looking team in baseball, but I have complicated feelings about this.

Let's talk about something else, now:

Book: Williams' head abused at facility

Associated Press

NEW YORK -- The New York Daily News is reporting that Red Sox Hall of Famer Ted Williams' severed head was mistreated at an Arizona cryonics facility, according to details from a new book.

In "Frozen," Larry Johnson, a former executive at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., writes that Williams' head, which had been severed and frozen for storage, was abused at the facility. Johnson claims a technician took baseball-like swings at Williams' frozen head with a monkey wrench.

Williams, the last player to hit over .400 in a season, died in 2002 at age 83 and had his remains sent to Alcor for cryogenic storage in the hope that future generations would develop the technology to revive him.

Copyright 2009 by The Associated Press

I had to copy and paste that directly from ESPN because no summary on my part could do it justice. WTF, human beings? Why are we like this?

Growing Up, Getting Old

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow / Creeps in this petty pace from day to day..."

As always, time has continued to pass and things have continued to happen. Last week's All-Star game marked the season's midpoint and heightened awareness of our unrelenting march towards October ball. The Yankees got swept by the Angels, the Red Sox stepped ahead in the AL East standings, and 21-year-old Clayton Kershaw of the Dodgers announced his impending manhood by sprouting some sort of chinstrap beard:

Douchey facial hair is a baseball tradition, but, with one notable exception, I've managed to keep my fantasy team relatively well-groomed:

Lights-out closer and possible goat-man Ryan Franklin, of the Cards.
Click here for a video of him talking about that thing.

Despite lowering the average attractiveness rating for Ladies Love Us, Clayton has been the ace of my pitching staff this month: 37 innings pitched, 5 wins, 34 strikeouts, 0.73 ERA and 0.95 WHIP. Wait, let me say that again. THIRTY-SEVEN INNINGS PITCHED, 0.73 ERA. Remember his days of being wild on the mound? Sometimes growing up can be a good thing.

"...To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death."

Up in the Bronx, lefty reliever Phil Coke is celebrating his 27th birthday and the Bombers have just dusted off some ghosts for the annual Old-Timers day. "I can't remember being 27," lamented long-time Yankees radio announcer Suzyn Waldman. Me neither, Suzyn, me neither. Except for that one day last year when Mike Mussina got his 20th win of the season. That was emotional! Here he is waving to the crowd as an official Old-Timer:

I love you, Mike Mussina!

And here's a photo of some other old dude:

And finally, another member of the Yankee dynasty celebrated his 60th birthday yesterday:

Congratulations on being so old, Joe Torre. Please come back to New York!

Mannywood is for Lovers

Submitted by Matt Woolsey, more Manny photos with affectionately snarky (i.e. not funny) captions from ESPN, here.