Baseball Life After Baseball

Now that we're one football Sunday past the baseball season, it's time to accept that baseball is over and that winter is here. Tony LaRussa made a very grandiose acceptance gesture by retiring from managing forever. A beautiful team of Budweiser Clydesdales escorted him into eternal peace.

Just kidding...he's still alive! Doesn't Lance Berkman look like the ultimate Casual Dad?

In other news, Robbie Cano and some other MLB All-Stars flew to Taiwan this week.

According to his Twitter, he's having a great time.

I have NO IDEA what this photo is! Asia is wild!

Congratulations, Birdies

Congratulations St. Louis! Your team won its 11th World Series championship. If only you'd waited until 11-11-11. I hate it when baseball is over!

There were a lot of babies on the World Series podium this year, which felt new. Should we blame/credit Drew Brees? Lance Berkman got to carry the trophy because, despite having four daughters, he was childless through the awards ceremony. Babies are taking over the world and it scares me.

Most World Series championships are bittersweet-- they mean that baseball's over for the year and that we have to do other things, like play Fantasy Football and read books. Thanks very much for another memorable year, baseball. I love you. Thank you. Goodnight.

Cold as Ice Redux

I can't afford to hold grudges against teams who beat teams that aren't the Yankees, which is why I still hate Texas but I don't hate the Cardinals.

Before Game 7 starts, let's look at more photos of David Freese:

Well-defined eye lashes make people look famous.

You may think this is a Target ad, but it's not!

To reinforce the notion of Freese as wholesome,
here's a photo of him handing out a turkey. On Thanksgiving? Unclear.

I googled "David Freese little league" because
what would be more wholesome than helping children?
This photo is so small that I can't tell if it's
really him, but I think it's okay to assume that it is.

It's okay to have a DUI when you're still a teenager, right?
I mean, it would be unwholesome to not go through
a phase of generic teenage rebellion, right?
This is still pretty cute, as far as mugshots go.

Man, I still kind of hate the Cardinals when I think about how we could be watching Cole Hamels pitch game 7 of the World Series tonight. It's also difficult to argue that bare-bones "I'm just watching this game because I like sports drama" fan should root for the team who's won the championship more times than any other club besides the Yankees over the team who's won no championships since their inception 50 years ago. (There are A LOT of "Texas Ranger" wikipedias, but this is the one that's relevant to baseball.)

As I implied in the opening paragraph, I'm not that kind of fan, so those rules don't apply to me. It's not spiritually healthy just to root against one team based on irrational grudges, though, so I'll be transforming those negative feelings into something positive by rooting for the Cardinals tonight.

World Series Game 6: DAVID FREESE IS COLD AS ICE.

In their must-win home game, the Cardinals trailed the Rangers by two runs in the bottom of the ninth inning. Down to his last strike with two men on base, David Freese, the hometown boy who had let a routine fly ball fall out of his mitt earlier in the game, hit a triple to tie the game.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE:
Top: Happy Tony LaRussa vs.
Bottom: Bummed Ron Washington

Texas promptly reclaimed the lead in the 10th inning with Josh Hamilton's first home run of the post-season, but Berkman-- down to his last strike-- tied the game again during the bottom of the inning. His beard is different colors! He's only 35.

Albert Pujols usually points up at God when something good happens,
but Lance Berkman probably deserved it this time.

Texas didn't score in the 11th inning. At this point, despite believing all game that I was watching the end of the 2011 baseball season, I had a feeling that St. Louis would pull this one off. They mercifully decided not to give C.J. Wilson a chance to enter the game and continue his season of monumental losses, and instead, David Freese hit a walk-off home run off of scrub pitcher Mark Lowe.

He was promptly mauled at home plate, where his jersey was ripped to shreds. It was a truly shocking celebration.

Savagery aside, is there anything that would feel better than hitting a walk-off home run in extra innings of Game 6 of the World Series in your hometown? Congratulations, David Freese. YOU'RE A STAR. Also, Marti said you were cute.

On that note, here are some festive photos of St. Albert making the world a better place:

Everyone celebrate! We've got a Game 7!

Lance Berkman Looks Better Old

So what if I deliberately chose an unflattering young photo? Lance Berkman looks better old.

As much as I like the gray, I'd also enjoy seeing Big Puma in a Just For Men commercial this winter. "Your beard is weird."

Things I Realized While Watching the World Series

I realized some things while I was watching the first game of the World Series last night. For example, I realized that I love Michael Young because Michael Young is the Derek Jeter of Texas, and that Chris Carpenter doesn't have to fully button his jersey because he's the only good pitcher left in all of baseball. Most notably, though, I realized that my friend Sam Hockley-Smith plays for the St. Louis Cardinals:


You may know Sam from his day job where, like Clark Kent, he wears glasses and writes about stuff:

Sam, is Albert Pujols really a robot? Also, are you going to win the World Series?

ALDS Game 4; NLDS Game 3

ALDS Game 4: Texas 4, Tampa Bay 3
Texas wins the series 3-1
W: Matt Harrison (1-0), L: Jeremy Hellickson (0-1)
S: Feliz (3)
HR: TEX - Adrian Beltre 3 (3), Ian Kinsler (1)

What is that thing and can you blame Yorvit Torrealba for throwing sunflower seeds at it? In case anyone was wondering what Evan Longoria's hair looked like on the last day of the Rays' season, here's a photo:

The color schemes of this year's divisional series opponents have been disorientating in their similarity. The Rangers and Rays wore blue today. The Yankees and Tigers wore gray and white uniforms with navy and black hats. The Phillies and Cardinals wore red. Does it lessen home field advantage when all of the fans are wearing the same color? What about if you're Tampa Bay and you have no home fans, anyway?

ALDS Game 4: Yankees 10, Detroit 1
Series tied at 2
W: A.J. Burnett (1-0), L: Rick Porcello (0-1)
HR: DET - V. Mart (1)

A.J. Burnett kept things scary through five and 2/3 innings, but "pitched beyond any Yankee's fantasy," as John Sterling said.

Curtis Granderson, back on his former home field, made two amazing diving catches. Victor Martinez hit the only home run of the game, off Burnett in the 4th inning. You could feel everyone on the Yankees payroll thinking, "Well, here we go AGAIN," but no meltdown materialized. A.J. Burnett, you're still super ugly, but thank you. You did great.

Question of the week: is V-Mart actually attractive or is it just his swoony batting average?

NLDS Game 3: Phillies 3, St. Louis 2
Philadelphia leads 2-1
W: Cole Hamels (1-0), L: Jaime Garcia (0-1)
S: Madson (1)
HR: PHI - Ben Fransisco (1)

See what I mean? Nothing but red. Cole Hamels pitched six scoreless innings and then took some glamour shots in the dugout.

Not quite as glam as....

Arizona currently leads Milwaukee 8-1 in the 8th inning.

Un-be-liev-able

Well...this happened...



Moreover, this happened....




It came down to the last out in the ninth inning. Then, it came down to the bottom of the twelfth inning four minutes later. I feel so happy even though I hate the Rays. I really, really hate the Rays. But...THE RED SOX. I'm speechless.

Day 4 Wrap-Up

 SEE YOU, SAINT LOU.

Earlier this year, I was so into Manny Ramirez.  I even took him super high in our Fantasy draft, despite his having not yet re-signed with the Dodgers.  Then, after he did re-sign, I got super excited and bought Dodgers-Mets tickets even though it was MARCH.  Even though I HATED THE METS.  Then, after he got busted for taking banned substances, I counted forward fifty games forward and bought MORE METS TICKETS because I knew his suspension would be over and that he'd be newly back on the field and ready to crush 8,000 home runs, like, per game.

Except he didn't do that.  Not only did he scorch a fifty-day burn mark deep into my Fantasy bench before returning to post worse numbers than Casey Blake, but he also made the real-life Dodgers go into a Juan Pierre-less slump.  The combination of those two things made me pretty sick of Manny... until two minutes ago, when the Dodgers swept the Cards and ESPN.com posted the above picture.  That photograph has given my love for ManRam new life.  MANNY, I STILL THINK YOU MIGHT KIND OF SUCK AS A HUMAN BEING, BUT HOW CAN I HATE YOU WHEN YOU'RE SO ADORABLY RUDE?  See you, St. Lou!  I hope you guys have fun hanging out with Nelly this winter, 'coz Casey Blake and I are gonna be having a blast wearing our NLCS t-shirts at the Valley West Mall.

A screenshot of Casey's somewhat baffling Bon Jovi commercial cameo

I bought a $10 subscription to TBS Hotcorner, which was FREE last year, but whatever.  This is what the games look like on my computer:

 

 

The cameras that are the most consistently in-focus are the two dugout cams.  You can see the Dodgers' cam in the top right quadrant of these screen shots.  (It was the bottom of the ninth and the Dodgers were on the field, so not a lot was happening there.)  Dugout cam is my favorite angle because 1) the other camera angles never follow the ball and are therefore annoying and 2) when the Yankees are playing, there's always good, close-up footage of things like Derek Jeter's elbow.  I guess you're supposed to use Hotcorner as a supplement to the TBS TV broadcast, but I can't find TBS on our television.  If someone in New York knows how to do this, be a friend and let me know.

Anyway, I had to go to Teddy's to watch the Yankees game last night.  Because they give you a free Brooklyn Lager for every Yankee home run, I got pretty drunk after both A-Rod and Teixeira went deep late in the game.  As a result, my Day 3 Recap post was understandably lacking.  Here is what happened:

ALDS GAME 2: YANKEES EXTRA INNING WALK OFF WINNERS!

Yankees 4, Twins 3

Yankees lead series 2-0
W: Robertson (1-0)

L: Mijares (0-1)

HR: NYY Rodruigez (1), Teixiera (1)

ALDS GAME 2: SOX SCORE A RUN, BUT STILL LOSE!

Angels 4, Red Sox 1

Angels lead series 2-0

W: Weaver (1-0)

L: Beckett (0-10

S: Fuentes (1)

Today's Phillies-Rockies game got postponed, meaning that the most boring playoff series of the year still isn't over.  Here's what happened with the Dodgers:

NLDS GAME 3: I already told you about this.

Dodgers 5, Cardinals 1

W: Padilla (1-0)

L: Pineiro (0-1)

HR: LAD Ethier (2)

Let's see that Casey Blake photo one more time...

It's pretty sweet that the last team to clinch their division is the first to advance to the Championship Series.  That said, this is the inevitable twilight of my Dodger fandom for the year, because if they make it to the World Series and face the Yankees, I'm with my team 100%.* 

THIS TEAM:

Hahahahahahaha...Jeeeeeter!

*Not sure if this will reduce my chances of hanging out with Casey Blake in Iowa over Christmas break, but that's a risk I'm willing to take, I guess.