ALDS Game 4; NLDS Game 3

ALDS Game 4: Texas 4, Tampa Bay 3
Texas wins the series 3-1
W: Matt Harrison (1-0), L: Jeremy Hellickson (0-1)
S: Feliz (3)
HR: TEX - Adrian Beltre 3 (3), Ian Kinsler (1)

What is that thing and can you blame Yorvit Torrealba for throwing sunflower seeds at it? In case anyone was wondering what Evan Longoria's hair looked like on the last day of the Rays' season, here's a photo:

The color schemes of this year's divisional series opponents have been disorientating in their similarity. The Rangers and Rays wore blue today. The Yankees and Tigers wore gray and white uniforms with navy and black hats. The Phillies and Cardinals wore red. Does it lessen home field advantage when all of the fans are wearing the same color? What about if you're Tampa Bay and you have no home fans, anyway?

ALDS Game 4: Yankees 10, Detroit 1
Series tied at 2
W: A.J. Burnett (1-0), L: Rick Porcello (0-1)
HR: DET - V. Mart (1)

A.J. Burnett kept things scary through five and 2/3 innings, but "pitched beyond any Yankee's fantasy," as John Sterling said.

Curtis Granderson, back on his former home field, made two amazing diving catches. Victor Martinez hit the only home run of the game, off Burnett in the 4th inning. You could feel everyone on the Yankees payroll thinking, "Well, here we go AGAIN," but no meltdown materialized. A.J. Burnett, you're still super ugly, but thank you. You did great.

Question of the week: is V-Mart actually attractive or is it just his swoony batting average?

NLDS Game 3: Phillies 3, St. Louis 2
Philadelphia leads 2-1
W: Cole Hamels (1-0), L: Jaime Garcia (0-1)
S: Madson (1)
HR: PHI - Ben Fransisco (1)

See what I mean? Nothing but red. Cole Hamels pitched six scoreless innings and then took some glamour shots in the dugout.

Not quite as glam as....

Arizona currently leads Milwaukee 8-1 in the 8th inning.

Other Games, Other Teams

The Rays just lost their third game to the Rangers, making this post outdated. Still, for the sake of historical accuracy, I feel compelled to put it into the world so that I can devote my next post entirely to photos of Cole Hamels. Because they could be the LAST photos of Cole Hamels from this year. (Probably not.)

The Rangers beat the Rays 3-1. Pitches, hits, strikeouts, home runs, etc. I am not going to say anything more about this because I'm scared of karmic retribution. May every other team facing elimination tonight remain uneliminated.

The Brewers are up 2-0 on the Diamondbacks. As I've said, there are very few attractive players on the D'bags and they exist entirely on this blog's blind side. Win a game, okay? Everyone facing elimination remain uneliminated.

The Phillies are playing now, scoreless against the Cardinals in the third inning. Cole Hamels just bunted. The series is tied at 1 game apiece. Cole, I think you can win.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be cheering for Phillies' players anymore. I promise I will give you real baseball information starting tomorrow. In the meantime, here's a collage that the New York Times made about the postseason.

See? Even they put the D'back backwards.

Some Other Teams Made the Playoffs

The Brewers, Rangers and Diamondbacks all won their divisions this weekend.




Will the less likeable Upton also join?

More Opening Day Memories

Jenni's Opening Day Memories were quite inspiring, so I thought I'd share some of my own through photos I've saved from Yahoo's photo gallery. These photos are not related to the actual playing of baseball. To be honest, I'm kind of overwhelmed by the start of baseball and managing four fantasy leagues (two of which are daily), so my thoughts are quite disorganized and more incoherent than usual. It appears that I'm also coming down with a bug of sorts, which may have added to the frenzy. Jenni and I are twins, after all--though I have yet to take black capsule pills to get better. Anyway, here are my favorite images from Opening Day and some rambling commentary.

Pedro looks so happy.

I don't know much about this tradition of singing Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" at sporting events, but I do know that Puck sang it to Rachel on "Glee." I was incredibly pleased to hear Diamond singing it live at the game during the radio broadcast of the Yankees vs. Red Sox game.

I like the use of quotes on the guy's sweatshirt.

LOS METS! It's telling that the guy's hand is totally obscuring Jose Reyes. Let's hope he has a good, healthy return tomorrow. Los Mets can't be competing for second-to-last place against the Nationals. That's just too sad.

Are those CRUSTACEANS on the grill? What?

I don't like the Cubs, but damn, I felt really sorry for them when Jason Heyward did the MASHY on Zambrano. Jenni sent me this good article about Heyward. When the Braves come to Wrigley, I'll be sure to hide the car by going somewhere on the south side. Lawrence's Fisheries, anyone?

The caption for this photo read something like, "A band performs at the Kansas City Royals game." A BAND.

Here are the Royals dancers. I wish the girls in the front would be a little more coordinated.

Yeah BOSS DALEY! Who runs the best city in the world? A White Sox fan.

Best mascot ever. This image fills me with hope--not for the White Sox, not for baseball, but for humanity. THIS IS BEYOND BASEBALL.

Bonus image from MLB.TV: a nice view of Chone Figgin's head.

Bonus images (or penalty images, depending on your disposition towards the Marlins) for the Marlins' home opener (I realize there are many home openers that were not on Opening Day, but in my being overwhelmed, and in Yahoo not having photographic records of all home openers, this is what I have so far):

MERMAIDS!

Jenni also had sent me this article about Hanely Ramirez's necklace. There were no images of the necklace itself, so I was very glad to see this picture. I appreciate the photographer using the flash so we can all get a glimpse of the teal diamond as a decimal point.

This is really a penalty image; sorry. Creed's singer, Scott Something, sang the national anthem at the Marlins' home opener tonight. Do I need to say that the Dodgers beat the Marlins, 7-3? The Fish are doomed ￣︿￣

More rambling reports form my frazzled but excited brain to come!

Brewers vs. Cubs, 7/4/09

Another Jeff invited Mordecai and me to another Cubs game, this time against the Brewers. Like last time with the Dodgers, I bought a hat for the opposing team. I wore it with my chorizo shirt that I bought in Milwaukee a couple of years ago at Miller Park, to root for the relatively newly added chorizo in the sausage race when the Brewers play at home.

For this game, I had Fantasy interests in addition to personal interests. Prince Fielder has been doing good things as my first baseman, and I like Mike Cameron. Here he is fiddling with his bat and Fourth of July hat during "God Bless America" and the national anthem before the game.

(Click image for full size.)

Rich Harden pitched a hot mess for two innings, giving up five runs in the first. Casey McGehee was on fire. Here he is below with the Majestic Prince Fielder, who was intentionally walked twice.

The Cubs suck, and I'm not just saying this because I don't like them. Alfonso Soriano did not bat first, and went 0 for 4 somewhere in the butt end of the lineup. He was able to get on base because of a Brewer error. Here is his last at bat, GRABBING SOME BENCH.

There were many Brewers fans at the game. Here are some jovial Brewers fan, who seem to be taking Prince Fielder fan-dom seriously.

Brewers win, 11-2!

Here I am with my Brew Crew gear, kind of with the McDonald's employee across the street from Wrigley who had to wear baseball gear for game day. I had a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal.

I like to think that I bring opposing teams luck when I go to Cubs games and buy a hat for the opposing team. I also like to think that I'm just being a fan of baseball, but Mordecai says I'm a hater. I don't hate the Cubs, but they do kind of make me sick. Anyway, YAY BASEBALL! A fine way to spend the Fourth of July.

Photos of the Day

Over on our fantasy blog, Kei does an commendable job of selecting, posting and captioning her favorite Yahoo! MLB Photos of the day. Since Kei and Mordecai are traveling around the East Coast this week, I thought I'd keep the tradition alive by sharing some gems from yesterday's action.

The mighty Yankees trailed the worst team in baseball 3-2 for most of the evening, before rallying around Robbie Cano's RBI double in the 7th. Cano went 4-4 for the night and made a number of excellent defensive plays. That's my boy! Derek Jeter, on the other hand, went 0-3 and left the game early with "ankle soreness." Yikes.

Whaddaya know, Robbie Cano!

After Mariano Rivera shut it down for the Yankees in the 9th, I switched to the Dodger game, where house/horse-divider Clayon Kershaw was on the mound. The amazing Vin Scully lulled me to sleep some time in the 5th inning, so I'm not sure what's really happening in any of the photos below. I will, however, create some plausible explanations for your amusement.

Ichiro gives an umpire some sass after striking out against the Padres.
The Mariners won this game 5-0. No big surprise there.

A day after hitting a monster grand slam, Prince Fielder w-w-w-works it
around the base path at Progressive Field. No gulls or midges were sighted.

There is something weird going on with Jason Giambi's facial hair again.

Clayton Kershaw was unpredictable and inefficient on the mound,
but still shut the A's out for five innings. Aw, he's precious.

Matt Kemp can jump so high! The Dodgers celebrate a comeback
victory in the 10th. King Casey (left) did his part by going 2/5
with 2 runs and 2 RBIs.

There you have it...last night in baseball! It's rumored that Grady Sizemore could be back in action in 7-10 days...you can expect a big celebration, here, if that happens.

NL CENTRAL

As a fellow Midwesterner I suppose the NL central should hold some sort of special place in heart. But it doesn't. In fact I couldn't even name all six teams this morning, I had to look it up on wikipedia. As the first rankings I have done with Jenni's scientific ranking system, I was surprised to see how the averages shook out, but they are what they are.

Coming in at a strong number 1 with a team average of 4.727 were the Milwaukee Brewers.

Tops of the Brewers: Ryan Braun, Mat Gamel, and Prince Fielder

Ryan Braun got the highest ranking of any player I looked at today and had I been a little more worldly when I did my original top 5, he probably would have mad the cut. Rookie-ish Mat Gamel has that hipsterish hair and I've already said too much about Prince Fielder.

Worst of the best: Braden Looper, Todd Coffey, and David Riske.

It seems obvious that Braden Looper's head is way to big to be supported by his body while Todd Coffey's head looks way too small for his EXTREMELY large frame. All I can think of when I look at David Riske is the gopher from Caddyshack.

At No. 2 are my sort-of home town Chicago Cubs with an average of 4.657.

Best of the Cubs: Joey Gathright, Jeff Samardzija, and Ryan Theriot.

Former wide-receiver Jef Samardzija doing his best Bo Jackson is a no-brainer for me and Ryan Theriot looks a lot like a not so poor man's Ashton Kutcher. And Joey Gathright just looks like a super nice guy.

Worst of the north-side losers: Alfonso Soriano, Chad Gaudin, and Paul Bako

Not to get on Jenni's shit list, but I hate injury-prone Soriano, seen here grabbing his crotch. I don't think Chad Gaudin needs much commentary to demonstrate his douchey-ness, and Paul Bako is... well... old.

In 3rd Position were the Houston Astros with an average of 4.45.

Best of the stros: Lou Palmisano, Yordany Ramirez, and J.R. Towles.

Lou Palmisano, who I guess is a rookie, looks like a mix between Tom Brady and movie star. Yordany's got one of those trusting faces and JR Towles looks like the type of guy I would want to be friends with.

Bottom of the stros: Tim Byrdak and Jeff Fulchino

Not to pick on him, but I think the main reason I put Tim Byrdak up there is because after looking at so many headshots it was a shocker to see someone with glasses on. I was going to pass over him because I thought it would be mean to call him out for looking like a nerd, but then I saw that soul patch. Believe it or not the picture above is actually a good one of Jeff Fulchino.

In 4th place, just barely behind the Astros, were the St. Louis Cardinals with an average of 4.4.

Chris Carpenter, Jason LaRue, and Brian Barton.

For some reason I always imagined veteran Chris Carpenter as being really ugly, but his headshot and several google image searches proved me wrong. I wanted to include an action shot of Jason LaRue, but his headshot might be even better. And Brian Barton looks like a great guy.


I also wanted to give a special shout out to Chris Perez, who looks startlingly like the Danny McBride character Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.

Jason Motte, Rick Ankiel, and Trever Miller

Check out Jenni's wrap-up for Jason Motte's extremely bad mugshot. HGHer Rick Ankiel is grabbing for crotches and Trever Miller just looks weird.

In 5th place, but not quite last place were the Cincinnati Reds with an average of 4.314

The only one???: Edinson Volquez

I didn't identify a whole lot of standouts from the Reds, so I included two pictures of Edinson Volquez. All in all they were a pretty mediocre bunch.

Aaron Harang, and Bronson Arroyo

However, there were a couple fellas they stood out the wrong way, most notably is Aaron Harang who looks like a poor man's Paul Giamatti. Even though Arroyo has since changed his hair, he will never get off my shit list.

In last place, which really means something when you've got 6 teams in your division, were the Pittsburgh Pirates with an average of 4.277.

Stand-outs???: Neil Walker and Nate McLouth

I'll leave Nate McLouth for Jenni since he's in her top five... But Neil Walker, he looks like a stoner, which I think he pulls off very nicely.

Worst of the worst: Luis Cruz, Tom Gorzelanny, and Ramon Vasquez.

I would have loved to give Ramon Vasquez some props because I used to like him, but with that weak mustache, I just don't know. Luis Cruz got my lowest score of the day (2) because I couldn't look at that picture without picturing one of those large blow-up rats they put outside non-union construction projects. And Tom Gorzelanny just looks tired.

I'm still playing catch-up on my rankings, but hopefully by next week I'll be close to caught up.