A 2014 Cole Hamels Hair Update

Another year has passed, another summer has ended. After many, many long months of being completely fixated on dogs (my dog specifically, but all of the dogs in the world additionally), I've been trying to reconnect with the things that I loved before I loved only dogs, i.e. baseball, fantasy baseball, football, fantasy football and Bill Simmons.  It's been pretty good so far, despite my baseball thoughts being dominated by fretting over when I'll see Derek Jeter for the last time and why there are Snoopy dolls in the Mets Team Store. This morning, however, I pushed the anxiety aside to indulge in another of my all-time favorite baseball hobbies: taking blurry MLB.tv photos of Cole Hamels on my iPhone.

Congratulations on your combined no-hitter, Cole! Are you wearing that titanium-infused necklace for style or for POWER?

While these photos testify to the fact that Cole Hamels does know how to smile, they don't provide any information about the current state of his hair. To save you the trouble of asking Google (don't bother asking Siri, she only wants to talk about Heidi Hamels' hair), here are some 2014 Cole Hamels Hair Updates:

So, basically, nothing new to report. Although I guess I missed a mustache phase in 2013:

via ...but I'd say more AMAZING than EMBARRASSING.

Yes, I found this by Googling "Cole Hamels dog 2014."  And no, there weren't any new photos of Cole carrying his dog around in a back pack.  

My Third Snoopy Day / The Yankees 8,000th Post Season Berth

Before we talk about the Yankees, here's a picture of Toronto Blue Jay Ricky Romero wearing a fake beak.

Now, let's get serious. The Yankees clinched a playoff spot this afternoon by winning the first game in their doubleheader against the Tampa Bay Rays. Unlike the unruly Philadelphia Phillies, they celebrated by shaking hands. “We still feel as though we didn’t accomplish anything yet,” said Derek Jeter. DJ, when you do accomplish something, please get nicer looking hats than the Phillies did.

Top: Johnny Damon, Older and Fishier
Bottom: Brett Gardner looks really short.

Yesterday was my favorite day of the baseball calendar: Yankee Snoopy Doll Day! The Yankees beat the Rays 5-0. The Red Sox also lost, so who knows what's going to happen with the American League wild card.

Robinson Cano looks really short.

I made Alex go to the game two hours early, so we got to walk down to the field level seats and watch the Yankee rookies take batting practice.


We also went to Monument Park for the first time, where I took this photo through the protective netting.


As you might know or imagine, Monument Park feels like a cemetery. This solemn, mournful feeling is greatly enhanced by the huge plaque of George Steinbrenner that dominates the entire back wall.

Other parts of the stadium are much more beautiful and life-affirming.

The new 2011 Snoopys wear navy blue t-shirts. Unlike the 2011 Snoopys, they have no collar and have a slightly shorter snout. The 2009 pin-striped Snoopys-- the original Yankee Snoopys, as far as I know-- look noticeably different than their successors, with slimmer heads and defined necks. My 2009 Snoopy has also gotten quite dirty, but I don't think that's a generational trait.

Do not let this picture fool you: there are five Yankee Snoopys in my life. This count includes neither my one Yankee Mickey Mouse doll nor my unaffiliated Snoopy that plays music when you squeeze his chest.

2,721

CONGRATULATIONS, DEREK.

Tonight, Derek Jeter got his 2,721st career hit, tying Lou Gehrig's long-standing all-time Yankees hits record. Also, it was free Snoopy night in the Bronx. Although my initial ticket purchase was based more on a juvenile obsession with stuffed toys than a cognizant desire to witness baseball history-in-the-making, I feel so, so lucky to have been at the stadium. The universe is kind, sometimes.

Admittedly, things didn't start out that well. Delayed in Chelsea due to my own idiocy and then burdened by bad train luck, I arrived at Yankee Stadium just in time to see the 18,000 Snoopys run out. Bummer! Happily, Paul's a student and can do things like show up super early to sporting events. Because he has a very kind heart and because he's seen enough of my only-child tantrums to want to avoid them, I got his Snoopy. Thanks, Paul!

There's the Captain on the gigantic Yankees scoreboard during his first at-bat! Everyone was standing and the camera flashes were incessant and insanely bright. Jeter had gone 0-12 in the Rays series so far, so no one really knew what to expect. For days, he'd been four hits away from breaking Gehrig's record and the New York tabloids were being typically vocal about the slump. Maybe people didn't want to get their hopes up. After he bunted his way to first base, the crowd exploded. I think we yelled "JETER" all the way through Johnny Damon's first swing.

Snoopy was so relieved! He had a drink to celebrate.

If you want to know exactly what happened in the game, The New York Times has a good recap. If you don't really care that much or already know, you can keep reading this blog. Basically, the Yankees were doing pretty badly until cranky old Posada came in and hit a three-run homer in the eighth inning. Jeter went 3-4, tying Gehrig with his third hit and drawing a walk during his last at-bat. This walk caused titanic waves of booing in the upper decks. I booed too, but I wasn't at all sad (and come on, I'll boo the Rays for any reason). It would have been awesome to see him break the record, but it was also awesome to see him tie it. The above photo shows the Yankees congratulating each other after sweeping the series. We're still nine games up on the Red Sox. Unbelievable.

Stoked on Snoopy

I don't know what to say about Jeter's record-tying hit, other than that it was overwhelming and emotional in all the right ways. I have no idea how long the applause lasted, but Jeter took his helmet off and saluted the crowd at least three times. One of the best parts was seeing his family's reaction on the screen. They look so nice. I know I talk about how great Derek Jeter is all the time-- like, to the point of absurdity-- but he really is a great person. Don't laugh at me, I'm being serious. IF YOU DON'T LIKE DEREK JETER, YOU ARE JUST A HATER AND YOU'D BETTER THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT TRYING TO FIX YOUR AWFUL PERSONALITY BEFORE YOUR FRIENDS ABANDON YOU AND YOU DIE ALONE. Just kidding (sort of). Derek Jeter wouldn't want me to hate on the Jeter haters, so I won't (publicly).

And so, goodnight from the House that Jeter Built. More tomorrow if he breaks the record. Once more, congratulations Derek! You're the best and thank you and we love you.