Great Job, DJ

Tonight, the internet is talking about whether or not Derek Jeter can amass 1,001 hits and break Pete Roses's all-time hits record.  People say that he would have to play until he's in his late 40's. Go for it, DJ! You're already the world's best person. You might as well try to become the world's-best-person-who-has-also-hit-more-baseballs-than-any-other-person.  By then, I'll also be in my 40's and will have hit no baseballs in any context.  That's okay. We all have our own paths in life.

Something I would like the internet to tell me: what happened to the Yahoo! Sports MLB Photo Gallery?  Where else can I go to see hundreds of unsorted photos of unfamous MLB players? I had to use this un-new photo of Derek Jeter that Google unearthed from some unknown corner of the universe.  Oh well. Who cares about representing things as they are? Who really cares about the truth?

Congratulations to the Derek Jeter of today, yesterday, 10+ years from now and forever.  Thanks to the internet, you'll always be our one and only timeless Jeter.

Congratulations, Birdies

Congratulations St. Louis! Your team won its 11th World Series championship. If only you'd waited until 11-11-11. I hate it when baseball is over!

There were a lot of babies on the World Series podium this year, which felt new. Should we blame/credit Drew Brees? Lance Berkman got to carry the trophy because, despite having four daughters, he was childless through the awards ceremony. Babies are taking over the world and it scares me.

Most World Series championships are bittersweet-- they mean that baseball's over for the year and that we have to do other things, like play Fantasy Football and read books. Thanks very much for another memorable year, baseball. I love you. Thank you. Goodnight.

World Series Game 6: DAVID FREESE IS COLD AS ICE.

In their must-win home game, the Cardinals trailed the Rangers by two runs in the bottom of the ninth inning. Down to his last strike with two men on base, David Freese, the hometown boy who had let a routine fly ball fall out of his mitt earlier in the game, hit a triple to tie the game.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE:
Top: Happy Tony LaRussa vs.
Bottom: Bummed Ron Washington

Texas promptly reclaimed the lead in the 10th inning with Josh Hamilton's first home run of the post-season, but Berkman-- down to his last strike-- tied the game again during the bottom of the inning. His beard is different colors! He's only 35.

Albert Pujols usually points up at God when something good happens,
but Lance Berkman probably deserved it this time.

Texas didn't score in the 11th inning. At this point, despite believing all game that I was watching the end of the 2011 baseball season, I had a feeling that St. Louis would pull this one off. They mercifully decided not to give C.J. Wilson a chance to enter the game and continue his season of monumental losses, and instead, David Freese hit a walk-off home run off of scrub pitcher Mark Lowe.

He was promptly mauled at home plate, where his jersey was ripped to shreds. It was a truly shocking celebration.

Savagery aside, is there anything that would feel better than hitting a walk-off home run in extra innings of Game 6 of the World Series in your hometown? Congratulations, David Freese. YOU'RE A STAR. Also, Marti said you were cute.

On that note, here are some festive photos of St. Albert making the world a better place:

Everyone celebrate! We've got a Game 7!

Okay, Fine.

I made a mistake: the Yankees are not above gratuitous celebratory displays.

Also, not immune to ugly championship graphics on their hats and t-shirts. Okay, okay. You won the division. Just please win the World Series, team.

My Third Snoopy Day / The Yankees 8,000th Post Season Berth

Before we talk about the Yankees, here's a picture of Toronto Blue Jay Ricky Romero wearing a fake beak.

Now, let's get serious. The Yankees clinched a playoff spot this afternoon by winning the first game in their doubleheader against the Tampa Bay Rays. Unlike the unruly Philadelphia Phillies, they celebrated by shaking hands. “We still feel as though we didn’t accomplish anything yet,” said Derek Jeter. DJ, when you do accomplish something, please get nicer looking hats than the Phillies did.

Top: Johnny Damon, Older and Fishier
Bottom: Brett Gardner looks really short.

Yesterday was my favorite day of the baseball calendar: Yankee Snoopy Doll Day! The Yankees beat the Rays 5-0. The Red Sox also lost, so who knows what's going to happen with the American League wild card.

Robinson Cano looks really short.

I made Alex go to the game two hours early, so we got to walk down to the field level seats and watch the Yankee rookies take batting practice.


We also went to Monument Park for the first time, where I took this photo through the protective netting.


As you might know or imagine, Monument Park feels like a cemetery. This solemn, mournful feeling is greatly enhanced by the huge plaque of George Steinbrenner that dominates the entire back wall.

Other parts of the stadium are much more beautiful and life-affirming.

The new 2011 Snoopys wear navy blue t-shirts. Unlike the 2011 Snoopys, they have no collar and have a slightly shorter snout. The 2009 pin-striped Snoopys-- the original Yankee Snoopys, as far as I know-- look noticeably different than their successors, with slimmer heads and defined necks. My 2009 Snoopy has also gotten quite dirty, but I don't think that's a generational trait.

Do not let this picture fool you: there are five Yankee Snoopys in my life. This count includes neither my one Yankee Mickey Mouse doll nor my unaffiliated Snoopy that plays music when you squeeze his chest.

Everyone Knew This Would Happen

The Phillies won the World Series NL East title last night. They celebrated by putting on Pizza Hut delivery hats and dumping Budweiser tall boys on their coaches, before retreating to their locker room and spraying champagne at each other. Everyone knew this would happen! In unexpected news, Roy Halladay smiled for the first time.

Top: Antonio Bastardo
Middle: Smug Cliff Lee
Bottom: Smiling Roy Halladay

I'm desperately trying not to be eliminated from the championship round of my Dynasty Keeper Fantasy Baseball League, and it looks like everything hinges on Cole Hamels having a good start today. I scoured the Yahoo! Sports MLB photo gallery for evidence of any drunken misbehavior on Cole's part last night, but found nothing. I now feel like I can relate to parents who use Facebook to make sure that their high-school-aged children aren't taking party drugs.

Happily, Cole was serving mixed green salads to his wife and her friends and was nowhere near any cheap champagne, high school drop outs or prescription drug abuse. Whew. And Cole, we both know that you're on my team for LIFE, so just try to do your best today please.

Go Tigers! Hosmer Walk-off. Cycling Pandoval.

Last night, the Tigers won their division title for the first time since 1987. Congratulations Tigers! Clinching pitcher Doug Fister is on both of my Fantasy teams. He's cute, right? I've been on the fence for months, but I think I'll go ahead and call this one now: he's cute. He's at least as cute as Clayton Kershaw was before he became more horse-y than boy-ish. Doug Fister, may you follow in Clayton's career footsteps without losing your human good looks.

Miggy has a hand tattoo?

Eric Hosmer hit a walk-off double against the White Sox last night. I hope become a great team because I love Eric Hosmer and I love their uniforms.


Pablo Sandoval hit for the cycle two nights ago. Can you believe he hit a triple?

I'm already starting to have baseball separation anxiety. Go away, football. Baseball, don't go!

Mariano 600th Save Photo Diary

I said I would, so I did.


I'm going to try and take all of the same photos of 602.

600/200/o_o

I've been waiting for someone to upload a photo or video of Mariano Rivera's 600th save for approximately ten minutes now, but even the Yankees' official March to History: Mariano Rivera website hasn't rolled over from 599 yet. I have to go to bed. Here's my favorite Mariano photo as a placeholder:

While the Yankees cruise to a playoff berth, the less steady Red Sox won their first game in six days, 18-6. Old, old Time Wakefield finally won his 200th game. Sox fans, stop freaking. The Rays aren't going to catch you. I read it on the internet.

In other news, Mr. Met was recently crowned the new Dark Lord of New York City. Will the Yankees sue him for emotional property theft?

He's done bad things in the past:

Photo via, also many other nice photos

There's probably 600 photos of Mo's 600th save online now, but we'll save that for tomorrow. Congratulations, Mariano! Congratulations, Mr. Wakefield! Congratulations, scary baseball mascot!

It's Saturday, so Naturally This is What I'm Doing....

In 2008, I wasn't really a baseball fan-- I only cared about the Yankees and had yet to manage my first fantasy baseball team. As follows, I may have missed the best moment of Cole Hamels's career: when he received a Camaro for winning the World Series MVP award.

"That's right. I do have a Camaro and I had to be an MVP to get
a better deal than at Jeff D'Ambrosio in Oxford."

Cole, please give us an update on your dead arm. Are you going to start this week or should I do something desperate, like pick up Bartolo Colon?