Catch It!

It's been a few days since I scrolled through the Yahoo! Sports MLB Photo gallery. I was going to post a gross-looking photo of Brian Wilson licking his gross-looking beard, but then I thought "Jenni, don't hate." Here, instead, are some photos of center fielders jumping to catch balls. They are Franklin Gutierrez, Ichiro Suzuki, Brett Gardner, Grady Sizemore (back when he could play baseball without injuring himself), and Ken Griffey Jr.

Don't hate...elevate!

Happy Father's Day

To sports dads and all dads.

Refractors

It's Sunday, so I spent the morning half-listening to The BS Report and looking at baseball cards on the internet. I don't know anything about the baseball card market-- I just appreciate that they're uniformly rectangular objects with images on them. Some cards look SO good. I love nostalgia cards and cards that resemble paintings, like this Chase Utley National Chicle card I got out of a pack I bought while in Door County, Wisconsin with my parents this summer (note: this is not an image of my card). Someday, I'm going to curate a show of my favorite baseball cards and write a really pretentious press release and have an opening with lukewarm white wine in clear plastic Solo cups. Maybe Kei and Mordecai will consider hosting a similar exhibition in their beautiful new house.

Anyway, I looked at a lot of refractor cards today:





Cool, right?

All-Star Campaign Posters

There's no time like the present to perform your civic duty of casting 25 All-Star votes for Derek Jeter (or for whatever non-celebrity athlete you idiosyncratically choose to prefer). It's also okay to think of this as casting 25 All-Star votes against players that you hate (i.e. Shane Victorino). This year, MLB.com has taken All-Star balloting to a unprecedentedly personal level by creating campaign pages for select contestants. So, in addition to casting your 25 allotted votes, you can also join player campaigns and encourage your sports buddies to do likewise. Every page is adorned with a graphic that superimposes a glamor shot-y button over a large photo of that player at-bat. While some are predictably and rightfully heroic...


...others are goofy and un-All-Star-like. I mean, really, are those the BEST photos they could find of Casey Blake and Andre Ethier? By now, Sam and I are both willing to admit that Casey Blake may be less good looking than we'd originally thought, but Andre Ethier? He's the Prince of Egypt!

Lest you think that this is some sort of anti-Dodgers overbite conspiracy, here's Matt Kemp looking like the most famous man on Earth. His photo is so hi-res that it's practically three-dimensional.

I want to point out that you can still vote for the freshly retired Ken Griffey Jr. On a related note, you can also absolutely still have him on your Fantasy team in all Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball leagues. I have the personal experience and the losing record to prove this.


While we're on the topic of Fantasy stat killers, here's the campaign poster for last-season-soul-enemy Jayson Werth. Ugh. Don't vote for him.


Finally, here's a bonus screenshot of Cole Hamels and Stephen Strasburg pitching in different games on Sunday. I uploaded this by accident, but now it's part of the internet forever! Hi Cole. GREAT JOB. YOU FINALLY WON A GAME!

Voting ends July 1st.

Bye Junior

Ken Griffey Jr. has retired. Here's his official statement. Here's a newspaper article. He remains an active bench warmer for Ladies Love Us.

Opening Day Memories

I thought about baseball so much this weekend that my brain caught on fire and I had to stay home from work with a fever today. Never fear...I went to my doctor and she gave me a bottle of BLACK CAPSULE PILLS to take twice daily, so it's likely that no permanent damage will occur. The upside of spending all of yesterday in a sickly haze is that I watched large segments of five different opening day games, as well as the Duke v. Butler game and Sunday night's Yankees-Red Sox beat down. Here are some highlights (in roughly chronological order):

1. BASEBALL STARTS....


2. ...hi Derek Jeter!!!!!!!


I was unhappy that the Yankees lost to the Red Sox on Sunday night. Red Sox fan Reid texted me on Monday morning to ask, "Are the Yankees going to win any games this year? Sure doesn't look like it now." To which I could only respond, "Yeah, probably only 103 like last year, starting some time in late May." It's important to remember that every team in the Major Leagues lost at least 59 games last year...that's a lot of losing!!!

3. Obama in the booth at the Phillies-Nationals game:

Obama threw his pitch high and outside, then he got in the booth and made fun of the Chicago Cubs. You can watch the video on MLB.tv, or you can just read the funniest part, which I transcribed below.

"The nice thing about the Sox is that it's a real blue collar baseball team. We always tease about the Cubs that they're up at Wrigley, sipping wine, playing day games...they're having a good time."

At first, I thought that it was rude of Obama to wear a White Sox hat while pitching for the Nationals, especially since the Nats are awful and need as much fan love as possible. But then I was reminded that the most important thing in baseball-- even beyond not making losers feel bad about being losers-- is being true to your team. This is why I will wear a Yankees hat when I'm inevitably asked to throw out the ceremonial first pitch for the I-Cubs.

4. Roy Halladay Lights Out

7 innings pitched, 12 strikeouts, 1.29 ERA, 1.14 WHIP and he got a single!

5. Mark Buehrle Lights Out

7 innings pitched, 3 strikeouts, 0.00 ERA, 0.57 WHIP...AND HE MADE THE DEFENSIVE PLAY OF THE CENTURY!! You might not be able to imagine it from the above photo, but Mark Buehrle is a total babe. These posts from the archive prove it.

6. Hi Johnny Damon!

I like him so much more now that he's on the Tigers. I don't know why.

7. Did Kung Fu Panda gain or lose weight?

San Fransisco fan MBW said that the panda looked larger than last year. But the New York Times claims that he's lost weight. You can read more about his diet, OPERATION PANDA, here. Mom's special lasagna...hahahahaha.

8. HI GRIFFEY!!!!

What's up, friend? Nice double. Don't get injured! We love you.

Sports Feelings

I'm working with a credible source/my friend Sam (not Weber) on a multifaceted exploration of why baseball players and fans have such obnoxious taste in music. Until then, please suspend your critical faculties for 4 minutes and 47 seconds while you enjoy this beautiful Ken Griffey Jr. highlight reel. SPORTS FEELINGS.

#24 on Your Scorecard, #1 in Our Hearts

"You can't forget about him.  I believe that even in this winter, in my sleep, he will appear in my dreams. To play together with that hero of mine, in the same uniform -- and on top of that, in Seattle -- that time we got, even now, seems like a dream. I believe that time with him will continue."

-Ichiro Suzuki, on the possibility of Ken Griffey Jr. returning to the Mariners next year (quote via ESPN) 

Everyone loves #24! Please see the below post for proof of Kei's steadfast devotion to her favorite baseball player,  #24 Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers.

Coincidentally, my number one is also a #24.

Robbie's looking a little rough there.  My second favorite #24, Grady Sizemore of the Cleveland Indians, has also seen better days.

Grady, what's going on with your life, right now? I'd like to blame it on the post-surgery pharmaceuticals, but just to be safe, I'll never look at photos of you in street clothes again.  Love may be blind, but sometimes you have to help it along by deliberately closing your eyes to the truth.

Don't forget to cheer for the Tigers tomorrow, everyone!