Other Games, Other Teams

The Rays just lost their third game to the Rangers, making this post outdated. Still, for the sake of historical accuracy, I feel compelled to put it into the world so that I can devote my next post entirely to photos of Cole Hamels. Because they could be the LAST photos of Cole Hamels from this year. (Probably not.)

The Rangers beat the Rays 3-1. Pitches, hits, strikeouts, home runs, etc. I am not going to say anything more about this because I'm scared of karmic retribution. May every other team facing elimination tonight remain uneliminated.

The Brewers are up 2-0 on the Diamondbacks. As I've said, there are very few attractive players on the D'bags and they exist entirely on this blog's blind side. Win a game, okay? Everyone facing elimination remain uneliminated.

The Phillies are playing now, scoreless against the Cardinals in the third inning. Cole Hamels just bunted. The series is tied at 1 game apiece. Cole, I think you can win.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be cheering for Phillies' players anymore. I promise I will give you real baseball information starting tomorrow. In the meantime, here's a collage that the New York Times made about the postseason.

See? Even they put the D'back backwards.

Beggars Can't be Choosers, Winners Can't be Losers

There are only four to seven baseball games left in the year, so instead of sulking and wishing intense pain upon anyone wearing a Rangers hat on the subway, all Texas sports teams (except Coach Taylor's) and most non-baseball pro-athletes, it's probably healthier and more enjoyable to just give in and get excited about the World Series. Here are some players I know about:

THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS

1. Closer Brian Wilson, evil-eyed trivia expert
2. Catcher Buster Posey, rookie heart throb
3. Pitcher Tim Lincecum, television commercial megastar
4. Cheerleader Barry Zito, cosmic donut
5. Panda Pablo Sandoval, panda panda

THE TEXAS RANGERS
1. Catcher Bengie Molina, will win a ring either way
2. Josh Hamilton, younger than I am surprisingly
3. Vladdy Guerrero, older than everyone you know unsurprisingly
4. Ian Kinsler. What I love about him is that he is always visibly whining.

The Rangers have the ugliest mascot in the Major Leagues. The Giants also have an unfamous mascot, but theirs is at least marginally cute. His name is Lou Seal and he wears sunglasses, sometimes backwards. And then there's this bad crab, which you can read about here.

Baseball! It starts tomorrow.

Just Say No

On Saturday, Texas Ranger and former drug addict Josh Hamilton held a brief press conference to apologize for a lapse in sobriety that occurred this January. Thank you, Josh, for reminding us not to drink. If only you had spoken out on Thursday. No matter. Third Base or Bust would like to reiterate our affection for Mr. Hamilton. How can you not love a guy who takes mugshots like this:


Or this?


Not to mention the time he crushed a record-setting 28 longballs at the 2008 Home Run Derby...


...but still didn't win? AFFABLE SCREWUP. Here's an n+1 review of his book, Beyond Belief.

It's 8:10pm and the last game of the Yankees-Red Sox series is about to start. I'll write a recap of this amazing weekend tomorrow.

In the meantime, to stay Rangers-centric while fulfilling my pledge to post less Jeter photos on this blog, here's a picture of #1 SUPERCUTE SUPERBRAT, Ian Kinsler.


Aw. So precious.