A New Unfortunate Thing That My Brain Did to Itself

Sometimes I have ideas that involve trying things that I've never tried before.  Today, my idea was to watch to guided imagery meditation YouTube videos while simultaneously listening to the end of the Yankees-Blue Jays game on the radio.  This was not a good idea.  The music made me visualize hypnotic raccoon faces leering at me from the Darkness of My Unknown Mind.  This felt bad, but instead of turning it off, I stopped focusing on my Inner Thoughts and made this picture:

While I was Photoshopping DJ, he hit a home run and tied the game at 7-7 in the ninth inning.  Why did THAT happen?  The music makes me feel like I'm drowning in an ocean of ice cold red Gatorade.  The music makes me feel like animals can talk.  The music makes the place between my eyeballs hurt.  One million, eight hundred and one thousand and thirty nine (1,801,039) people watched this video before I did.  One million, eight hundred and one thousand and thirty nine people have been subconsciously effecting the outcomes of Yankee games since this video was uploaded in September 2011.  Please do not listen to this music if your secret brain hates the Yankees.  

I guess I should be happy that I've used a free internet resource to unleash my psychokinetic sports powers, but I don't feel very good.  I will probably have awful dreams tonight and the Yankees still haven't won the game.

I'm Mad Because My Favorite Hobby is Looking at Things

There were a lot of baseball things that I wanted to see yesterday and unfortunately I didn't get to see any of them.  The first unseeable event was the Yankee-Red Sox game celebrating 100 Years of Fenway Park.  I wonder how many people skipped work or school to see Dustin Pedroia wearing a 1912 throwback uniform.  My boss, despite his alleged Red Sox fan-dom, didn't let me stream the game at work.  Maybe he knew that Clay Buchholz would give up five home runs?  I have Buchholz on one of my Fantasy Teams and this still absolutely delighted me.

Wikipedia says that there's a section of Fenway Park called "Williamsburg."

Maybe I should go there on a tour of All The Worlds' Williamsburgs.

Top: The old Red Sox uniforms look better than their current uniforms. 

I am a big fan of ice-cream-man-themed ensembles.

Bottom: Look who finally crawled out of his bottomless pit of Sports Hell.

I am a big fan of Tom Brady's facial expression.  WHAT A JOKER.

The Yankees uniforms look mostly the same to me.  Here's Derek Jeter wearing striped socks and passing Dave Winfield on the all-time hits list:

Fantasy Baseball Super Star, Derek Jeter

And here's a photo of the Yankees celebrating their 6-2 win:

Did Tom Brady cry? But also feel relieved that

other people lose things, too?

The second unseeable event was Cole Hamels pitching against the Padres.  Yes, I tried to watch this game on my phone while I was at a bar and yes, I realize that this was ill-mannered of me and no, it didn't work.  MLB.tv wasn't working when I got home either, which resulted in a huge temper tantrum.  Seems like Cole was also fired up, as he hit this random person...

...and then later had to be physically restrained from arguing with the umpire after a called balk.

Honestly, in my opinion, that body language doesn't 

really say "I need to be restrained."

Good game, Cole.  I wish I could have seen it.  Were you still angry when you woke up this morning?  I was, but I'm getting better.  What are you doing this weekend?  I hear it's going to rain.