Showing posts with label rockies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rockies. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The First of my Thoughts About Peyton Manning and the Broncos, with Some Quotes from the Colorado Rockies

What's Peyton Manning going to do in Denver in his spare time? Pitch for the Rockies, I guess.


From the Yahoo! Sports article:

The news spread fast during batting practice at Salt River Fields before the Rockies’ game against the Los Angeles Angels, and just in case anybody didn’t hear, one player pregame yelled: “No more Tebow!”
Sorry, Tim Tebow, but the Rockies are on Team Peyton.
“Tebow is a great player,” outfielder Carlos Gonzalez said, “but I’m from Venezuela and not even a football fan and I know they got one of the best quarterbacks in history.”
“I have nothing against Tebow,” outfielder Dexter Fowler concurred, “but I’m definitely a Peyton Manning guy.”
For one, Manning spent more time around the Rockies than Tebow. Because of his friendship with Helton, he has shown up unannounced in recent years before Rockies games. Last July, Gonzalez walked into the dugout, saw Manning and said to himself: “I think I know this guy.”
A month later, when the Rockies were in St. Louis, Fowler glanced at Helton’s locker only to see someone with three extra inches and one fewer goatee.“He’s sitting in Todd’s chair,” Fowler said, “and you’re like, ‘What? Oh, yeah, that’s Peyton Manning.’ ”
Obviously, my fantasy was for Peyton to move to New York, replace Mark Sanchez, do media appearances with Eli and local television commercials with Derek Jeter, and go to the Met with me on Sunday afternoons. We'd have such a nice time eating hot dogs on the front steps and then walking through Central Park. I mean, nothing (much) against Denver, but you can't do any of those things there.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Why Casey, WHY?

WHY DID CASEY BLAKE SIGN WITH THE ROCKIES?
I DO NOT LIKE COLORADO.
I DO NOT THEIR UNIFORMS.


These are pictures of Casey Blake on Dodger's 70's night and a magical mountain.
I will now resume daydreaming about Cole Hamels in a Yankee hat.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

KKKKKKKKKKKKKK's for C.C. and Other Fantasy News

I went to the Mariners-Yankees game last night and watched C.C. Sabathia strike out 14 batters. I also watched the grounds crew roll out their giant silver rain tarp twice.

C.C. was perfect through six. Then, Brendan Ryan singled in the seventh inning. You can see the bizarre mustache he's wearing in his scoreboard mugshot from across the stadium.

I was pretty sure it was a computer generated practical joke until I saw this photograph this morning:

So, the mustache is real hair. That doesn't mean it's not a joke. When I heard Ryan announced in the seventh inning, I yelled "Who is that? He's not even famous!" Did I jinx C.C.'s perfect game? We learned about this during our Greek Tragedy unit in high school. The Yankees still won, so I guess the universe wasn't that offended by my comment.

In other happy news, Doug Fister didn't get shelled. Three runs and five strikeouts in seven innings. He's also not bad looking. All three of these sentences are relevant to my Dynasty Keeper Fantasy Team, which has been clinging to an ever shrinking first place lead for a few weeks now (in points, not attractiveness).

Given the tenuousness of my position, I agreed to a major trade this weekend, sending Elvis Andrus to another Chelsea-based Fantasy Baseball team. I never really wanted Andrus, but got stuck with him when I overestimated his value during our draft. In fact, aside from B.J. Upton and Jonathan Papelbon, I can't think of many players that I like less. Good riddance, Elvis Andrus.

Luckily, I have this guy Derek Jeter at SS. He'll be worth the
$30+ I spent on him for the next ten years, right?


Here's who I got in return:

Aaron Hill from the Blue Jays

Houston Street from the Rockies

Heath Bell from the Padres (for now)

Heath Bell famously lost 25-pounds by playing Wii Fit in the off season. You can read more about that here and here.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Why I Don't Think About Tulo

Call it superstitious, lazy or pathological, but I've never looked at a photo of Colorado's Troy Tulowitzki because I won't pay attention to any shortstop that isn't Derek Jeter. However, tonight while making a list of baseball players whose first and last names start with the same initial,* I decided that it was time.

While scrolling through the trove of Google image thumbnails, I felt overcome by a sadness that I quickly realized had nothing to do with young Tulo and his unremarkable appearance and everything to do with the inevitable decline of Derek Jeter. Things haven't been going well for DJ recently. Not only is he batting well below his usual average, but he's also failing to get the crucial game-changing hits that once earned him the nickname Captain Clutch.** Maybe it's just a bad year. That's okay. These come and go. It also happens to be the last year of his contract with the Yankees, and this fact has provided an irresistible news hook to what could have otherwise passed as a season as forgettable as Troy Tulowitzki's face.

Personally, I think that the end is still a long way off and that the near future holds at least two or three more truly great Jeterian years. Then, in his final season, the Yankees will win the World Series and even non-Yankee fans will cry because we'll all know that the team did it for him and that he did it for us. This kind of maudlin hokiness is exactly why people like sports. As W.G. Sebald once said:
It is a characteristic of our species, in evolutionary terms, that we are a species in despair, for a number of reasons. Because we have created an environment for us which isn't what it should be. And we're out of our depth all the time.... And I think there is no way in which we can escape it. The only thing that you can do, and that most people seem to be able to do very successfully, is to subdue it. And if you can do that by, I don't know, playing baseball or watching football on television, then that's possibly a good thing, I don't know.
What happens when the diversion from sadness and despair becomes its own source of sadness and despair remains to be seen. I'm a fairly new sports fan, and Derek Jeter will be my first sports hero to pass his prime, retire and eventually die. And then what will I do? Look at photos of the new nondescript shortstop who reminds everyone of Troy Tulowitzki in his prime? Or give in and write a book about walking around England, failed artificial lights, silkworm noises and driving on the wrong side of the road?


Or, do as I've grown accustomed to doing and continue to follow Derek Jeter's advice, which, of course, was always meant to be applicable beyond baseball: never treat your life like an old t-shirt. Not even past the glory days.

*Here is the list I made without using an external reference: Alfredo Aceves, Billy Butler, Chris Carpenter, Carl Crawford, Coco Crisp, David DeJesus, Edwin Encarnacion, Gio Gonzalez, Josh Johnson, Jair Jurrjens, Kila Kaaihue, Kenshin Kawakami, Mark Melancon, Melvin Mora, Ramon Ramirez, Stephen Strasburg, Troy Tulowitzki
**I used to think his nickname was Captain Crunch because his head looks like a peanut.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

#VotePK #VoteCarGo

Today is the last day of the 2010 All-Star Game Final Vote! MLB.com reports that Nick Swisher and Kevin Youkilis are more or less tied for the AL Final Vote, with Paul Konerko in third. This is a travesty. While I'm all about Nick Swisher and his vibrant personality, PAULIE IS CAPTAIN. Not just of the White Sox, but of Life. So I've decided to spend all day today voting for Paulie, even though realistically, I should be voting against Disgustingilis by voting for Swisher. I'm sure the Yankees fans are going to take care of that; hopefully Youkilis' failing ankle will keep him behind.

On the NL front, Joey Votto leads. I read some tweets about how he should've been selected in the first place for his contributions to the Reds' surprising success thus far. But again: travesty. We all know Carlos Gonzalez is the true hero of our epoch! He mashes the ball despite being mildly injured on and off the season. Also, he was in my dreams last night. Mordecai and I hung out with him all night long, and CarGo was a total pothead. I was really concerned for his tests and considered talking to him about it, but he had such a pleasant personality that I didn't feel like bringing it up.

So, if you're by a computer with internet, and you have time on your hands today, #VotePK, #VoteCarGo, and #VoteOften!!!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Madness

I'm going to adopt a loose definition of "Memorial Day Weekend," and rewind the blog back to Thursday night when I waited through a windy two-hour rain delay to see Cole Hamels pitch at CitiField. He lost. He wasn't that great, but the Phillies scoring ZERO runs over 27 innings didn't help much either.

C-Hamels looks kind of like the male "dating model" from the Amazing Race.

That same night, Kei's favorite baseball player hit three home runs and my favorite player hit a grand slam. Baseball Twins SPORTS FEELINGS!!!

Top: Lord Miggy collecting a low-five from Brennan Boesch;
Bottom: BEST SMILE IN BASEBALL

On Saturday afternoon, A-Rod almost killed Indians starting pitcher David Huff. Then, the Yankees/Joba Chamberlain blew a six-run lead to lose 11-13.

I'm exaggerating. David Huff is fine, not almost dead. Also, A-Rod said he felt bad.

Also on Saturday, Angel Kendry Morales hit a walk-off grand slam against the Mariners, then immediately broke his leg in the on-field celebration. The next night, Angel Howie Kendrick hit a walk-off home run against the Mariners. No injuries resulted.

Get better soon, Kendry!

As I mentioned, Derek Jeter celebrated his 15-year anniversary this weekend. Rookie Jeter looks like a baby ostrich. Present-day Jeter hit a double. I already told you about what Roy Halladay did on Saturday night. I spent three hours drawing nine pictures of Doc Halls this afternoon. They're all pretty weird.
Never treat your life like a used t-shirt and never, never, never give up.

I don't remember what happened on Sunday, other than that the Yankees won. Apparently, I also don't remember what happened on Friday.

On Monday, everyone wore white hats to pay tribute to American soldiers. All of the teams that wear white uniforms looked like milk men. Handsome Tiger Justin Verlander lost his game. Conversely, crazy Colorado Rockie Ubaldo Jiminez pitched a complete game shut-out against the Giants. His ERA is something inhuman like 0.970 right now.

Top: Okay, maybe more like an ice cream man?
Bottom: If I saw those eyes staring directly into mine, I'd strike out, too.

I'm currently watching the D-bag v. Dodger game and have a few pieces of trivia to report:
  1. Casey Blake's beard is back and it's GRAY.
  2. Manny Ramirez has never homered on his birthday. He has homered 8 times (counting tonight) on the day after his birthday. Happy 800th Birthday, Man Ram!
  3. The Diamondbacks' first baseman owns a ranch and brands his cattle with the phrase "E3." ERROR ON THE FIRST BASEMAN. Does this scare anyone else?
  4. Man, Vin Scully knows everything...college GPAs, player hobbies and nicknames, the body counts of every major war since the American Revolution...if you haven't watched him call a game, I highly recommend it.
That's all! Happy Memorial Day! Goodnight!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It's Unanimous

"Just spoke to Jason Giambi, who raved about the Rockies and said he wants to play in 2010. I couldn't stop staring at his ugly mustache."

 @JackCurry1



Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day 6: Phillies Rally; Rock Denver; Reprise Dodger Destiny

Jayson Werth is everywhere these days! Here he is, once again standing head and shoulders above the rest of his teammates.

Phillies 5, Rockies 4
Phillies win series in 4
W: Madson (1-0)
L: Street (0-2)
S: Lidge (2)
HR: PHI Werth (2), Victorino (1)


Top: Chutley testing the air; Bottom: Giambi failing to groom properly

These divisional series have been stacked with improbable rallies and ninth-inning wins.  Championship baseball.  It's awesome.  Next up, the Phillies at the Dodgers in the NLCS on Thursday, then the Angels at the Yankees in the ALCS on Friday.

I called it in April...YANKEES v. DODGERS WORLD SERIES!!!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Day 5: Weekend Sweeper Bonanaza

Angels 7, Red Sox 6
Angels win series in 3
W: Oliver (1-0)
L: Papelbon (0-1)
S: Fuentes (2)
HR: LAA Morales (1); BOS Drew (1)



It was a great baseball weekend for Los Angeles, with the Dodgers sweeping St. Louis on Saturday and the Angels stealing a jaw-dropping last-minute victory from the Red Sox to sweep their ALDS series at Fenway on Sunday.  Yo, Sam, your boy Vladdy did GREAT.  Jonathan Papelbon, who had previously kept his post-season ERA at  0.00, gave up three runs in the ninth to blow the BoSox's 6-4 lead. He was heartily booed off the field as a result.  Now, God and the internet both know that I'm not a Papelbon fan, but Boston that's rude.  Booing your own players when they're down?

Yeah, okay, I did it to A-Rod.  I'M SORRY.  I won't anymore. In public.  Okay, I won't. Period. (In public.) (I won't.) (I can't help it.) (Jenni, just don't.) I won't.


HEY A-ROD, GOOD WORK! WE LOVE YOU! (I'm trying)

Yankees 4, Twins 1
Yankees win series in 3
W: Pettitte (1-0)
L: Pavano (0-1)
S: Rivera (1)
HR: NYY Rodruigez (2), Posada (1)


Go out and love, love, love everyone.


Woolsey made me go out to get pizza at the start of the 7th inning, so I missed BOTH Yankee home runs.  To be fair, he did send me real-time text updates as I was standing in line at "Not Ray's Pizza," and also taught me a lot about baseball throughout the course of the game.  We're even.  No hard feelings. Those are my two least favorite Yankees, anyway.


Ever the professional, DJ keeps his uniform tidy despite clubhouse distractions

It's not a big deal that the Yankees swept the Twins because the Twins barely made the playoffs.  That said, let's keep those good vibes rolling, team!

Phillies 6, Rockies 5
Phillies lead series 2-1
W: Durbin (1-0)
L: Street (0-1)
S: Lidge
HR: PHI Chutley (1); COL Gonzalez (1)

 

Jayson Werth (28) is listed as being 6 feet 5 inches, but doesn't he look like a GIANT?  I guess it's because Jimmy Rollins (11) is 5'8?  I think I'm supposed to have feelings about Jimmy Rollins, but I don't.  Maybe later.
 

Uh, good work, I guess.  Will you please win your next game so that the Rockies will go away?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Day 2 Wrap-Up

Hey little boy with increasingly unappealing facial hair, please don't cry...



...THE DODGERS WON!!!!! CASEY BLAKE TAKES FOURTH BASE! GO FOR THE SWEEP!



NLDS GAME 2: DODGERS WALK OFF WINNERS!
Dodgers 3, Cardinals 2
W: Sherrill (1-0)
L: Franklin (0-1)
HR: STL Holliday (1), LAD Ethier (1)


Matt Kemp breaking bats; hugging walk-off RBI singler Mark Loretta


NLDS GAME 2: Rockies win. Whatever.
Rockies 5, Phillies 4
W: Cook (1-0)
L: Hamels (0-1)
S: Street (1)
HR: COL Torrealba (1), PHI Werth (1)

Stop playing each other. I can't stand looking at either of you.


ALDS GAME 1: RED SOX LOOOOOOOOSE!!!!!
Angels 5, Red Sox 0
W: Lackey (1-0)
L: Lester (0-1)
HR: LAA Hunter (1)



Top: SOX SHUT OUT! Bottom: Hunter Homers.

I'm feeling a bit schizo about this series, as I don't know who I'd rather have advance to the ALCS.  I like the Angels more as a team, but they're not that good at losing to the Yankees.  That said, Torii Hunter is such a star.  If we were still playing Fantasy Baseball this week, Ladies Love Us would be ON FIRE.  Oh well.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Day 1 Wrap-Up

WELCOME TO THE PLAYOFFS!


ALDS GAME 1: YANKEES WIN! YANKEES WIN!
Yankees 7, Twins 2
W: Sabathia (1-0)
L: Duensing (0-1)
HR: NYY Jeter (1), Matsui (1)



Top: Captain Clutch; Middle: Sorry, you lost. 
Bottom: Crazy in Love v. Crazy Love Vol. II

NLDS GAME 1: DODGERS WIN! DODGERS WIN!
Dodgers 5, Cardinals 3
W: Weaver (1-0)
L:  Carpenter (0-1)
S: Broxton (1)
HR: LADreamboat Kemp (1)






Top: Man Mountain high-five; Bottom (L): Cards huddle, (R) Pujols can't deliver


NLDS GAME 1: Phillies win. Whatever.
Phillies 5, Rockies1
W: Lee (1-0)
L: Jiminez (0-1)




Top: Bacon Brothers Salute America; Middle: Cliff Lee Suceeds
Bottom: Rockies on the bench looking sad